Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Regarding the growth in technology, the number of kids who have access to these technological sources is increasing rapidly, as a large number of them tend to spend most of their daily hours on their virtual lives. From my perspective,
this
statement is the result of upgraded technological devices that the companies are providing for individuals. Linking Words
Although
I find Linking Words
this
point to be an extremely negative development for various reasons.
With a comparison between the way of communication by the Linking Words
last
generations and nowadays, virtual communication is becoming more and more popular every day, as people tend to show more interest in Linking Words
this
way of talking to others and Linking Words
this
made the path for these technology companies to provide and upgrade their devices. Linking Words
As a result
, most children are showing more interest in using them than before. Nowadays, a significant number of kids have their own smartphones and mostly use them to communicate with their comrades, which causes them to waste a significantly higher amount of their time to be involved in their friends' community and not be left behind. Smartphones are now an inseparable part of adolescents' lives. These devices, Linking Words
moreover
, consist of some interesting features Linking Words
such
as the capability of watching movies, playing video games, and reading e-books which seem mesmerizing to many youngsters and grab their attention to spend hours on their phones.
In my opinion, Linking Words
this
description has various drawbacks. Linking Words
Firstly
, it is extremely time-consuming as children may find themselves scrolling through social media for many hours without any reason, which will take their time that has to be spent outside the house playing with their classmates and doing homework. Linking Words
On the contrary
, the blue light of these cell phones will eventually have a damaging effect on their brain and their ability to think properly, Linking Words
as well as
their ability to solve problems and deal with difficulties. Linking Words
This
remark, Linking Words
furthermore
, may lead youngsters to become unsociable and depressed over date. Linking Words
For instance
, if a child only speaks to his schoolmates through texting them, he would not be able to express his ideas clearly when it comes to face-to-face communication, which will make him depressed and anxious.
Linking Words
To sum up
, to me, Linking Words
that is
a horrible decision to let the kids use their phones as much as they want to since Linking Words
this
will bring a variety of unforgettable damages Linking Words
while
they are growing up, as Linking Words
this
is the time when their brains are forming and can have huge drawbacks to their future.Linking Words
Submitted by lioness1970 on
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task achievement
To improve task response, incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This can help make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
task achievement
Your main ideas are clear, but occasionally your sentences are quite long and could be better structured for clarity. Try breaking them down into more manageable parts.
coherence cohesion
Although the logical structure of your essay is strong, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This will help to enhance the overall flow and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets the context well for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
You provide a comprehensive response to the prompt and present clear ideas about why children spend so much time on smartphones and whether it is a positive or negative development.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.