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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is becoming increasing popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are advantages and disadvantages of this?

#year #school #university
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
it is believed
that is
 better to have a rest for a
year
 after school,
due to
 the exhausting study load. Nowadays, the majority of students have a
year
 gap after getting a diploma document in order to rest,
nonetheless
, some go to the
university
 directly. In
this
 essay, I will explore about pros and cons of
this
 viewpoint and give my opinion. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages, one of the positive aspects is that you will have extra
time
 to think about what field of study you like, which means, you have room to make the logical
decision
 . Because, if you go to the
university
 without a break and uninitiated, you might be regretful and grief why I chose
this
 course by that
time
, you have really wasted a lot of
time
, in fact , having extra
time
 can be helpful because you can use others opinions and experiences to make a good
decision
.
Moreover
,
this
 action can lead to giving you more
time
 in order to work in advance of entrance to
university
, because it is an opportunity to gain valuable experience and broaden your horizon,
instead
 of going to
university
 without any outlook. A good example of it would be, when you have an attitude about what you want to do in future, it can be really beneficial. Turning on the other side of the argument, one of the disadvantages aspects is that when you don’t want to go to
university
 and have a
year
 gap the universities, you might not be accepted,
due to
 an increasing your
age
, because, one of the doubts of going to
university
 is
age
 and if you were
further
, you would be rejected probably.
For instance
, if an individual goes to
university
 at the
age
 of twenties beside a guy
that is
 eighty, the younger person will accomplish the course meanwhile his
age
 is lower, and for proceeding the study is much better to be younger. All in all, as can be seen from the points in
this
 essay, you need to bear in mind what exactly you want to do for going to
university
 and you should weigh up the positive and negative aspects. In my opinion, it is better to have a
year
's gap, because, as I mentioned, it is a better
decision
due to
 having extra
time
 and you can consult with professional people in order to make a suitable
decision
.
Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on

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Language Proficiency
Provide more varied sentence structures and complex grammatical forms to demonstrate linguistic flexibility and accuracy.
Task Response
Consider using specific, real-world examples to strengthen your argument and make your points more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Keep an eye on the clarity of your argument. In a few instances, the flow of ideas could be enhanced by tightening the connection between your main points and the examples you provide.
Accuracy
Proofread your essay to catch and correct minor errors in grammar and punctuation.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively outlines both advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Position Clarity
You've maintained a clear position throughout the essay, demonstrating good task response and coherence.
Structural Organization
The introductory and concluding paragraphs effectively set up and summarize your essay's argument, contributing to its overall structure and coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
What to do next:
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