Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life car make people happy?

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Few people think that in order to be happy in life, one should have a lot of

money

Use synonyms

. Because with more

money

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individuals can fulfil their dreams and might help others by giving to charity,

as well as

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donations.

However

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, gaining happiness in life through

money

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is not the only way,

this

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is something others might gain by loving their parents and

also

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by hanging out with friends. On the one hand, with the help of assets, human beings can be able to achieve their dreams which makes their world filled with enjoyment. In most cases, they dream of a luxury apartment to live in or perhaps owning supercars, which

money

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can buy easily.

For instance

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, owning a house can give a mental peace and satisfaction.

While

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some might obtain pleasure by donating to the poor people who are in dire need of help. In order to achieve

this

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plenty of funds are required.

On the other hand

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, I believe that providing help to your parents with love and affection can

also

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guarantee happiness which is free of cost. In their old age, especially parents when they are not capable of doing their own things like eating or walking, they look to us for help. By providing assistance to them, we can feel the happiness in our hearts.

Moreover

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, spending some leisure time with our friends and hanging out would cost no

money

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but we can feel self-satisfied.

For example

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, playing your favourite sport like cricket which includes playing with friends does not require wealth but helps you to be happy. In conclusion,

money

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can certainly buy things which could make someone happy but there are a lot of things out in

this

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world which provide a sense of pleasure and would not cost a penny.

hassan05.quadriSat Jun 08 2024

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task achievement

While the essay touches on the core points, try to expand on how money can provide happiness with more varied examples and deeper analysis. For instance, discuss not only luxury items but also financial security, access to better healthcare, and education.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next. The introduction sets up the essay nicely, and the conclusion wraps things up well, but try adding clearer transitions between points, especially between paragraphs.

task achievement

Include additional examples or evidence to further support your claims. For instance, more specific instances of how friendships contribute to long-term happiness or how parental care impacts one's emotional well-being could strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, setting up and wrapping up the essay effectively.

task achievement

The essay comprehensively addresses both parts of the task: how money can make people happy and other sources of happiness.

task achievement

The ideas presented are generally clear and relevant to the task. The essay effectively discusses happiness derived from money and the non-monetary aspects of life.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life car make people happy?

Your opinion

Some people believe that technological tools such as body scanners and CCTV have significantly enhanced our safety and security, while others feel that they have resulted in a loss of privacy. Do the benefits of these items outweigh their disadvantages?

Some people think that it is better for a country's economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.