Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life car make people happy?
Few people think that in order to be happy in life, one should have a lot of
money
. Because with more money
individuals can fulfil their dreams and might help others by giving to charity, as well as
donations. However
, gaining happiness in life through money
is not the only way, this
is something others might gain by loving their parents and also
by hanging out with friends.
On the one hand, with the help of assets, human beings can be able to achieve their dreams which makes their world filled with enjoyment. In most cases, they dream of a luxury apartment to live in or perhaps owning supercars, which money
can buy easily. For instance
, owning a house can give a mental peace and satisfaction. While
some might obtain pleasure by donating to the poor people who are in dire need of help. In order to achieve this
plenty of funds are required.
On the other hand
, I believe that providing help to your parents with love and affection can also
guarantee happiness which is free of cost. In their old age, especially parents when they are not capable of doing their own things like eating or walking, they look to us for help. By providing assistance to them, we can feel the happiness in our hearts. Moreover
, spending some leisure time with our friends and hanging out would cost no money
but we can feel self-satisfied. For example
, playing your favourite sport like cricket which includes playing with friends does not require wealth but helps you to be happy.
In conclusion, money
can certainly buy things which could make someone happy but there are a lot of things out in this
world which provide a sense of pleasure and would not cost a penny.Submitted by hassan05.quadri on
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task achievement
While the essay touches on the core points, try to expand on how money can provide happiness with more varied examples and deeper analysis. For instance, discuss not only luxury items but also financial security, access to better healthcare, and education.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next. The introduction sets up the essay nicely, and the conclusion wraps things up well, but try adding clearer transitions between points, especially between paragraphs.
task achievement
Include additional examples or evidence to further support your claims. For instance, more specific instances of how friendships contribute to long-term happiness or how parental care impacts one's emotional well-being could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, setting up and wrapping up the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively addresses both parts of the task: how money can make people happy and other sources of happiness.
task achievement
The ideas presented are generally clear and relevant to the task. The essay effectively discusses happiness derived from money and the non-monetary aspects of life.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?