Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Music
is considered a universal language to express feelings because it has no particular vernacular. An array of masses believe that melody can make individuals with dissimilar ethnic backgrounds and diverse age groups be cheek of jowl. In my point of view, I strongly opine that
music
is a great road to connect any contrasting person, so It will be examined in the following essay. Even though, songs are composed of words it does not limit the pleasure of enjoying a foreign musical composition as
music
is boundaryless in terms of dialect.
Hence
, anyone can explore and get high on a symphony of another heritage group, despite their backgrounds.
For instance
, if we take Bollywood or Korean melodies, everyone around the world admires them in spite of the unknown language.
Consequently
, adoring each other's musical inventions would put different traditionally distant people closer to putting their hands in a glove.
Moreover
, unequal peer groups of all generations could simply pleasure themselves with the beauty of musical chords since age is just a number in order to react to
music
.
For example
, if you go to a concert every age group can be found regardless of generation gaps.
Therefore
,
tune
Add an article
the tune
show examples
is considered as a great deal of connection that eventually makes every maturity level closer.
To conclude
, since musical components do not require a background of the same culture or parallelly aged people, they can make the whole words together.
Thus
, I strongly believe that each and every human should be more into the musical world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they learn to respect cultures and people of unequal backgrounds.
Submitted by tlakshani005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Overall, your essay shows a strong understanding of the task and presents clear, comprehensive ideas. However, make sure to fully develop your points and consistently link them to the essay question. In some instances, your points could have been explained further to ensure a nuanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates effective usage of cohesion and coherence. The logical structure is largely sound, although there are a few instances where the essay could proceed more naturally. Additionally, make sure that your main points are adequately supported— while you generally do well in this, more examples or specifics could be helpful.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is solid; you use a range of vocabulary to allow for precise meaning, and generally avoid errors. Keep expanding and refining your vocabulary.
grammatical range
You have demonstrated a varied grammatical range in your essay, but there are minor improvements to be made. Ensure the correct usage of articles, prepositions, and conjugations which have, on occasion, not been properly applied.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: