Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music

is considered a universal language to express feelings because it has no particular vernacular. An array of masses believe that melody can make individuals with dissimilar ethnic backgrounds and diverse age groups be cheek of jowl. In my point of view, I strongly opine that

music

is a great road to connect any contrasting person, so It will be examined in the following essay. Even though, songs are composed of words it does not limit the pleasure of enjoying a foreign musical composition as

music

is boundaryless in terms of dialect.

Hence

, anyone can explore and get high on a symphony of another heritage group, despite their backgrounds.

For instance

, if we take Bollywood or Korean melodies, everyone around the world admires them in spite of the unknown language.

Consequently

, adoring each other's musical inventions would put different traditionally distant people closer to putting their hands in a glove.

Moreover

, unequal peer groups of all generations could simply pleasure themselves with the beauty of musical chords since age is just a number in order to react to

music

For example

, if you go to a concert every age group can be found regardless of generation gaps.

Therefore

tune

Add an article

the tune

show examples

is considered as a great deal of connection that eventually makes every maturity level closer.

To conclude

, since musical components do not require a background of the same culture or parallelly aged people, they can make the whole words together.

Thus

, I strongly believe that each and every human should be more into the musical world

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they learn to respect cultures and people of unequal backgrounds.

Submitted by tlakshani005 on Thu Nov 02 2023

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task response

Overall, your essay shows a strong understanding of the task and presents clear, comprehensive ideas. However, make sure to fully develop your points and consistently link them to the essay question. In some instances, your points could have been explained further to ensure a nuanced argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates effective usage of cohesion and coherence. The logical structure is largely sound, although there are a few instances where the essay could proceed more naturally. Additionally, make sure that your main points are adequately supported— while you generally do well in this, more examples or specifics could be helpful.

lexical resource

Your lexical resource is solid; you use a range of vocabulary to allow for precise meaning, and generally avoid errors. Keep expanding and refining your vocabulary.

grammatical range

You have demonstrated a varied grammatical range in your essay, but there are minor improvements to be made. Ensure the correct usage of articles, prepositions, and conjugations which have, on occasion, not been properly applied.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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