Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Parents

Use synonyms

love their

children

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dearly and strive to provide for all their needs. Some believe

this

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has significant merits,

while

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others see distinctive drawbacks.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore both perspectives and provide a personal opinion

at the end

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Firstly

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children

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are often introduced to

toys

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due to

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their various developmental benefits.

To begin

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with,

toys

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promote creativity by stimulating a child's imagination, allowing them to explore different stories and scenarios with

toys

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like Monopoly, Playhouse, and Doctor's Kit.

This

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creative play is essential for cognitive development and helps

children

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learn to think outside the box.

Secondly

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toys

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contribute to mental growth by promoting educational values.

For instance

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, primary schools use

toys

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with various shapes, letters, and numbers to teach toddlers. These educational

toys

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can enhance learning and make the educational process more engaging and enjoyable for young

children

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Additionally

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, playing with

toys

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helps develop fine and gross motor skills, which are crucial for

overall

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physical development.

On the other hand

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, many recent parent surveys describe the issues associated with having excessive

toys

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. Many

parents

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suggest that an overabundance of

toys

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overstimulates

children

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, making it difficult for them to focus on one activity.

This

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constant stimulation can lead to shorter attention spans and difficulty in concentrating on tasks. Others believe it diminishes

children

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's appreciation for their belongings, as they may take their

toys

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for granted and not learn the value of taking care of their possessions.

However

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, the most significant concern is that it encourages materialism, where

children

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measure their happiness and self-worth through their possessions.

This

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materialistic mindset can have long-term negative effects on a child's values and priorities. In conclusion,

while

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having many

toys

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can bring joy to

children

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and promote personal development in various ways, it is the

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parents'

Correct your spelling

parent's

show examples

duty to help their

children

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understand the use and importance of their

toys

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. By doing so,

parents

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can educate their

children

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and mitigate the drawbacks of possessing multiple

toys

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This

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balanced approach ensures that

children

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can enjoy the benefits of

toys

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without falling prey to the potential disadvantages. Ultimately, parental guidance is key in fostering a healthy relationship between

children

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and their

toys

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, enabling them to grow into well-rounded individuals.

nick

Jun 9, 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay is generally very well-organized and maintains a clear and consistent logical structure. However, try to vary sentence structures and include more complex sentences to improve the flow of information.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score, ensure you integrate more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will provide a more vivid and convincing argument.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is concise and clearly outlines the topic and the purpose of the essay.

supported main points

The essay includes strong main points that are relevant and well-supported with logical arguments.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced perspective on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondry school.do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantage?

Some argue that it is necessary to prioritize economic development over environmental protection, while others believe that protecting the environment should be the top priority. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?