Some people think that the computers will be more intelligent than humans. Others are worried about the negative consequences of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some would argue that
computers
will be more powerful than individuals,
while
others are concerned about the bad results of them.
While
the power of
computers
will overtake the power of
humans
, I believe that they can help us in various aspects and improve our lives. On the one hand, the pace of growth of some features of
computers
like artificial
intelligence
is improving considerably and it can be seen all people now
use
them. Artificial
intelligence
works like the brains of
humans
and it learns everything that we provide as
data
.
In other words
, if artificial
intelligence
is considered an infant, by feeding
data
it grows and after a period we will face an adult who gains a lot of
data
and records them forever,
while
,
humans
' brains can not
use
all the information
that is
gained. It means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
artificial
intelligence
can process all
data
and events faster than individuals.
For example
,
this
feature now is utilized in robots and some of them show their emotions,
this
means, they may overtake
humans
and
humans
may be in danger.
However
, I believe that we can control their bad consequences by making some restrictions and these kinds of technologies can improve our lives in different aspects.
On the other hand
, enhancing these kinds of features is thought to improve our life quality. Some technologies used in
computers
including artificial
intelligence
and machine learning are used in various fields like medicine, engineering, and financial issues. Nowadays, many high-tech companies
use
them to predict the trends of events that can help us to make a suitable plan for different problems.
For instance
, machine learning now is used in medicine to predict cancer or potential diseases that
humans
may encounter. In my opinion,
computers
and their features can make better conditions for
humans
because we can
use
them to predict all events. In conclusion,
although
overtaking the power of
computers
can breed some problems and
humans
may confront dangerous situations, making limitations, can help us in all aspects of our lives.
Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Lexical Resource
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and effectively.
Task Response
Make sure all paragraphs are well-developed with clear main ideas and examples. Some parts could benefit from further expansion or more specific examples.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to detail to avoid minor grammatical errors that could distract from your message.
Introduction
You provided a clear thesis statement in your introduction, effectively setting the stage for your discussion.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarises the essay, reiterating your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
You demonstrated clear progression of ideas from paragraph to paragraph, with logical connections that enhance the coherence of the essay.
Task Response
You addressed both views of the argument before providing your own opinion, which meets the task's requirements well.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • superintelligent computers
  • algorithms
  • process data
  • ethical dilemmas
  • job displacement
  • surveillance
  • cyber-attacks
  • privacy and security
  • recognize patterns
  • strategic games
  • dependence
  • individual freedoms
  • proponents
  • outperform
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