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Band 3.5

Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

#people #developments #field #intelligence #impact #lives #future #contrast #world #computers #humans
The rise of artificial
intelligence
 (AI) has shaped people's
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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 about the near future. Some people are
enthusiast
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enthusiastic
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 about the development and others are
also
 worrying about the possible consequences for the next generation. In
term
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terms
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 of productivity, artificial
intelligence
 plays a significant impact
on
Change preposition
in
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 assisting human
works
Replace the word
workers
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, particularly the
job
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jobs
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 involving
automatication
Correct your spelling
automatization
automatisation
,
such
 as in the factory, office, or even healthcare.
For instance
, the radiologist now can analyze the abnormalities from imaging using AI to help the diagnosis in
shorter
Correct article usage
a shorter
show examples
 time.
Although
 AI is very promising to boost human productivity, since its
aplication
Correct your spelling
application
 uses data input and analysis,
therefore
, a huge number of data is actually required to improve the specificity of AI.
By contrast
, some people are criticizing the arrival of AI, particularly those who are
concerning
Wrong verb form
concerned
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 regarding the human value. When
computer
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computers
show examples
 or
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more intelligent, the role of
human
Add an article
the human
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 brain
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be reduced, and
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 next generation
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
lazy in doing regular activities involving human
intellectual
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intellect
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. To summarize, artificial
intelligence
 is a non-avoidable phenomenon. The human must prepare and learn about its system if we don't want to
replaced
Add a missing verb
be replaced
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. Both human and artificial
intelligence
 must be improved in order to prepare
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future for humanity.
Submitted by fakhruddinmasse on

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task achievement
Work on building more detailed and well-developed arguments for each viewpoint. Make sure to elaborate on your points with relevant examples and evidence to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases that may affect the clarity of your writing. Consider revising sentences to improve readability. For example, phrases like 'people are enthusiast about' should be corrected to 'people are enthusiastic about.'
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and sentences to ensure a smoother flow. For instance, provide clearer linkage between the pro-AI and anti-AI arguments to make the essay more cohesive.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic effectively, presenting a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Provides specific examples, such as the use of AI in healthcare, which make the arguments more concrete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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