Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

#people #measures #epidemic

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Nowadays numerous

people

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buckle with obesity which can lead to disrupting their daily lives. The causes of

this

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appear to be focused on two areas, and a number of solutions

also

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appear to be possible. Few topics are more important than overweight these days. Obesity is an issue that can occur for everyone in different situations. A well-known cause is in increasing comfort

food

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. By

this

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, we mean that substances in fast

food

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can impair good physical conditions and cause a lot of fatness in body shape. A

further

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well-known cause is folklore prefer to relax in their off time

instead

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of being active.

For example

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, if

people

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chose a sedentary

lifestyle

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they would be fat day by day. A long-term solution is for society to buy free-range meats

instead

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of battery chicken which has detrimental impacts on the body

such

Linking Words

as fatness and can alter their body shape to have good physical condition.

For instance

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, folks can have vegetables

besides

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their foods which have minerals and vitamins that are essential for health and growth. A second remedy might be about the society. communities should change their

lifestyle

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People

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should push themselves to be more active

instead

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of choosing passive hobbies. An example can be seen, if

people

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had a mobility

lifestyle

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they would not get in trouble with being overweight and they would not become couch potatoes. In conclusion, fast

food

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and a sedentary

lifestyle

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appear to be the main causes of obesity. The key solution would be eating healthy

food

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and being physically agile.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Jun 09 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task, but the response could benefit from more detailed examples and a deeper exploration of each point.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use linking words and phrases to improve coherence. For example, instead of starting a sentence with 'For instance,' consider using 'Moreover, for instance...'

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition and try to vary your sentence structures. This will make your essay more engaging and dynamic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-articulated, successfully framing the discussion.

task achievement

You have identified relevant issues and potential solutions and maintained a logical structure throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

Your opinion

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

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Some countries have implemented mandatory community service programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this for young people?

children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion؟