Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?
Nowadays numerous
people
buckle with obesity which can lead to disrupting their daily lives. The causes of this
appear to be focused on two areas, and a number of solutions also
appear to be possible.
Few topics are more important than overweight these days. Obesity is an issue that can occur for everyone in different situations. A well-known cause is in increasing comfort food
. By this
, we mean that substances in fast food
can impair good physical conditions and cause a lot of fatness in body shape. A further
well-known cause is folklore prefer to relax in their off time instead
of being active. For example
, if people
chose a sedentary lifestyle
they would be fat day by day.
A long-term solution is for society to buy free-range meats instead
of battery chicken which has detrimental impacts on the body such
as fatness and can alter their body shape to have good physical condition. For instance
, folks can have vegetables besides
their foods which have minerals and vitamins that are essential for health and growth. A second remedy might be about the society. communities should change their lifestyle
. People
should push themselves to be more active instead
of choosing passive hobbies. An example can be seen, if people
had a mobility lifestyle
they would not get in trouble with being overweight and they would not become couch potatoes.
In conclusion, fast food
and a sedentary lifestyle
appear to be the main causes of obesity. The key solution would be eating healthy food
and being physically agile.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but the response could benefit from more detailed examples and a deeper exploration of each point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use linking words and phrases to improve coherence. For example, instead of starting a sentence with 'For instance,' consider using 'Moreover, for instance...'
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and try to vary your sentence structures. This will make your essay more engaging and dynamic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-articulated, successfully framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have identified relevant issues and potential solutions and maintained a logical structure throughout the essay.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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