IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

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A part of people , prefer having a good time with their co-workers
while
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 the other part has decided
work
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 life ends up at 5pm. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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this
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 is not a bad thing to go spend time outside
work
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 with colleagues, I’ll explain.
Firstly
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 , It’s important to keep a good cohesion with your co-worker or your team. If you don’t have a good time with your workers, it’s maybe because you don’t know them well enough.
For instance
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, having a night per week with the team and having dinner at the pub to talk about anything can remove a lot of stress accumulated during the day. Some people talk easily in our
work
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 environment and can be more confident in you.
Secondly
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, each company has enough workers to find someone who can complete yourself. A good friend is really important daily, to support when everything goes wrong or to have fun.
For example
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, if you don’t want to go to
work
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 in the morning because you already know who you’re gonna
work
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 with ,
then
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 you will have a long day.
Instead
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, learn more about your
co-worker
Fix the agreement mistake
co-workers
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 and you might discover some similar hobbies and
then
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 go play golf with them on Sunday. In conclusion, I find it really important to keep good contact after
work
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 with colleagues and having a good team makes your day feel quicker because you are in a good mood. Your coworker might end up being your best friend if you share the same ideas or sports.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, focus on creating a clearer connection between your main points. Use transitional phrases and ensure your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Although an introduction and conclusion are present, consider refining them to more effectively set the context in the introduction and summarize your arguments in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
To better support your main points, include a broader range of examples and ensure they are fully developed. This will strengthen your argument and add depth to your essay.
task achievement
Provide a more complete response by further elaborating on the implications and consequences of spending leisure time with colleagues, and balancing it with the opposing view to show a nuanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive. Make sure to fully explain your reasoning and how it supports your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. Examples should be detailed and directly connected to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmonious environment
  • effective collaboration
  • socializing
  • fostering
  • outlet for stress
  • blurring boundaries
  • privacy concerns
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • multinational companies
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • teamwork
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