Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?

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It is argued that middle school

students

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should learn how to manage their

money

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due to

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the fact that

this

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is a crucial skill for their

future

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. I completely agree with

this

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statement based on some reasons that will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

To begin

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with, managing

money

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is the basic skill to become rich

people

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in the

future

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. It means that when

students

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have a good understanding of how to allocate their

money

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wisely, they may become prosperous

people

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just like billionaires

such

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as Elon Musk and Bill Gates. Both of them are well-known for how to invest their

money

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in the right ways.

While

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Elon Musk has been spending a large amount of his

money

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on businesses like Tesla which makes him one of the richest

people

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in the world, Bill Gates has allocated his spending to Microsoft, a software computer which is used globally.

Therefore

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, if

students

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have the ability to manage their

money

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, they have an opportunity to become rich

people

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in the

future

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. Another reason related to

this

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is that managing

money

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would give them a sense of achievement.

In other words

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, it is the first step for them to build their

future

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. A student who can manage their

money

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well,

such

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as how to spend and save their

money

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, can lead them to do what they want after graduation.

For instance

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, they can use the

money

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they save to start a business.

Furthermore

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, when they run a business, their ability to manage

money

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would benefit them in terms of how to spend and save to advance their business. In conclusion, learning how to manage

money

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is vital for

students

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since it is a basic skill to become wealthy

people

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in the

future

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and

due to

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the fact that it will give them a sense of achievement.

salwafahanimSun Jun 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using more transitional words and phrases to link your ideas more effectively.

task achievement

Clarify and elaborate on your ideas in the body paragraphs. Sometimes points are mentioned but not fully developed or explained in relation to the argument.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. The examples given are good, but they could be more detailed to strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument effectively.

task achievement

The main points are relevant and connected to the topic, ensuring a focused response.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An increasing number of people of all ages are getting information from electronic products, and some people tend to argue printed books as well as magazines are no longer needed. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Topic: Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

As compared to the past, people spend more years in school and enter the workforce much later in life. Describe some of the problems entering the workforce later in life can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.