Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?
It is argued that middle school
students
should learn how to manage their money
due to
the fact that this
is a crucial skill for their future
. I completely agree with this
statement based on some reasons that will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, managing money
is the basic skill to become rich people
in the future
. It means that when students
have a good understanding of how to allocate their money
wisely, they may become prosperous people
just like billionaires such
as Elon Musk and Bill Gates. Both of them are well-known for how to invest their money
in the right ways. While
Elon Musk has been spending a large amount of his money
on businesses like Tesla which makes him one of the richest people
in the world, Bill Gates has allocated his spending to Microsoft, a software computer which is used globally. Therefore
, if students
have the ability to manage their money
, they have an opportunity to become rich people
in the future
.
Another reason related to this
is that managing money
would give them a sense of achievement. In other words
, it is the first step for them to build their future
. A student who can manage their money
well, such
as how to spend and save their money
, can lead them to do what they want after graduation. For instance
, they can use the money
they save to start a business. Furthermore
, when they run a business, their ability to manage money
would benefit them in terms of how to spend and save to advance their business.
In conclusion, learning how to manage money
is vital for students
since it is a basic skill to become wealthy people
in the future
and due to
the fact that it will give them a sense of achievement.Submitted by salwafahanim on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using more transitional words and phrases to link your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas in the body paragraphs. Sometimes points are mentioned but not fully developed or explained in relation to the argument.
task achievement
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and connected to the topic, ensuring a focused response.