There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Nowadays, it is irrefutable that there are varieties of music across the global village. Love it or loathe it, singing has been part of the human sphere from
beginning
. It contributes immensely to the cultural tradition of Add an article
the beginning
a
society Remove the article
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as well as
offers individual relaxation in people. It is evident that international music has been contributing tremendously to the similarity in cultural diversity that we are experiencing. I will discuss both aspects in this
essay.
To begin
with, music plays an imperative role in the culture and tradition of a place. That is
, the beliefs and customs of a particular region of the world can be easily identified by the type of songs there. Ogene of the eastern part of Nigeria is an awesome example of this
. The hearing of this
ogene in a gathering,
gives an on-looker a crystal notion of the origin of the persons present. Remove the comma
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Additionally
, the soothing effect of the melody from a play station or any other instrument on every soul more often than not, cannot be overemphasised.
International songs, however
, have made a crucial impact on the global culture. Rapid civilisation is seen in nations that imbibe changes in diverse areas and the aspect of opera is not an exception. AfroBeat, which has become the trend on every social platform, especially on TikTok is a notable instance of piece globalization and civilisation. It is sung and danced to, by Asians and other continents across the globe. It indeed fosters similarity in cultural diversity.
In conclusion, the role of culture is an onus on singing. Globalization and civilisation also
owe it to this
melodious sound now common among many.Submitted by find.love.ua on
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task achievement
To boost your Task Achievement score, focus on developing your argument more comprehensively. While you did a good job of addressing both the role of music in cultural traditions and its international influence, providing more detailed examples and exploring these ideas further would strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to another. While your essay presents a logical structure, some sentences and paragraphs could be better connected. Using more linking words and phrases can help achieve this.
task achievement
Expand on your main points by providing more specific examples and details. For instance, you can discuss more about how traditional music contributes to cultural identity or how international music impacts different societies.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a consistent tone and style throughout the essay. While your introduction and conclusion are solid, some parts of the body paragraphs can be improved for coherence. Aim for more seamless transitions between thoughts.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your key points.
task achievement
The essay covers both aspects of the topic, discussing the importance of traditional and international music.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as Ogene music and AfroBeat, adds credibility and interest to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.