In their advertisements, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
It has been a trend that a lot of
business
show new and creative Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
part
of their Fix the agreement mistake
parts
products
these days. As technologies are improving rapidly, firms need new ways to advertise their goods
which is a positive phenomenon.
It is clear that
advanced technologies affect consumers and producers in various ways. Products
with same
performance Correct article usage
the same
does
not have any competitiveness in the economy as Change the verb form
do
people
want things that are better than the other. Companies, therefore
, need to find methods to develop their products
and appeal to the crowd that it is different compared to other goods
. It leads to a positive effect to
both Change preposition
on
who
supply and demand. First of all, consumers benefit as they can use Correct pronoun usage
apply
products
that are advanced as time goes by. For example
, in cosmetic fields
Add a comma
fields,
people
tend to find sun creams that can protect their skin better. In order to meet their needs firms do a lot of research and development. Due to
these effort
, more Change the determiner
this effort
these efforts
people
buy the goods
they made which make
them take care of their skin at home without going to aesthetics and Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
also
benefit
the firm to earn more money.
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
In
addition
new ways of advertisement can emphasise the advantage when the product is used and catch someone's eyes better. Add a comma
addition,
This
leads to an increase in quantity
of demand and boosts the profit of the firm. To illustrate, a company in Korea made a song to advertise their product's creativity and as Add an article
the quantity
people
got addicted to the song more and more people
tried to use it which made an
rapid increase Change the article
a
of
the firm's return. We can see that businesses making songs or videos showing their product's new function make them look confident Change preposition
in
of
their Change preposition
in
goods
leading to an increase the
demand Change preposition
in the
of
Change preposition
for
it
.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
them
it is clear that
firms making numerous and creative advertisements can affect the consumer and supplier in a positive way; providing better goods
and earning more money.Submitted by wjddbs2206 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more structured approach. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logically follows the one before it. This will enhance readability and coherence.
task achievement
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task achievement
While your examples are relevant, adding more specific details or case studies will help strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved to make your essay more polished.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly introduces the topic and your opinion, which sets up a strong foundation for your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points, providing a strong end to your essay.
relevant specific examples
Your examples, such as the sun cream and the Korean company, are relevant and illustrate your points well.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?