Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

In contemporary society, there has been a noticeable increase in the amount of
television
watched by
children
as opposed to previous generations, leading to a reduction in
time
allocated to active or creative pursuits, which has sparked controversy among the public.
Although
this
issue can be attributed to numerous factors, some feasible measures can be considered to address it. There are two primary factors contributing to the increased
television
watching among
children
. First and foremost, since there are thousands of attractive entertainment programs,
this
stimulates
children
's curiosity and arouses their interest, making them binge-watch most of the
time
. It is evident that much of
television
content is designed to be highly engaging and visually appealing, making it easy for
children
to become addicted.
Secondly
, by working and earning to meet the standard of living,
parents
pay less attention to their offspring.
This
lack of parental involvement means that
children
may turn to
television
for relaxation or emotional fulfilment.
Nevertheless
, there are several measures that could be taken to solve the problems mentioned above.
To begin
with, in order to reverse the trend, caregivers can provide healthier alternatives for their kids.
For example
,
parents
should engage in physical outdoor activities with them, including football or swimming, which would make them feel motivated and supported, thereby encouraging
children
to engage in more creative pursuits.
Additionally
, by implementing
screen
time
restrictions,
parents
can likely prevent offspring from excessive
television
viewing. In fact,
children
need to have clear boundaries and
screen
time
regulations established, which would limit the amount of
time
children
spend glued to the
television
screen
. In conclusion, it is evident that
children
are increasingly drawn to watching
television
programs rather than engaging in active and creative endeavours.
Nonetheless
, by implementing measures
such
as restricting
screen
time
, fostering interactive play, and introducing alternative engaging activities,
parents
can guide their
children
towards more fulfilling experiences. Striking a balance between
screen
-based entertainment and physical or creative engagements can equip
children
with a comprehensive skill set and promote a healthier lifestyle.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt effectively and answers both parts of the question, providing clear reasons and measures, some examples could be more specific to better illustrate the points. For instance, detailing a particular program that captivates children or describing specific interactive activities beyond football and swimming would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying the sentence structures and incorporating more complex sentences to enhance the clarity and cohesion of the essay. This would help in making the essay flow more smoothly and keep the reader engaged.
general
You should avoid using common phrases and try to express your own ideas in your own words to make the essay more original. This will help enhance your band's score in writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion. It provides a good overview of the issue and summarizes the proposed solutions effectively.
task achievement
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, well-supported with explanations and examples, contributing to a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The use of transition words and phrases helps in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay, ensuring the ideas are connected smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: