IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Social media have positive and negative effect discuss

#media #effect
Whilst most
Correct word choice
Most
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people
 think that social
media
 have
Correct article usage
a maliganat
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maliganat
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malignant
 effect on youth.other
people
 think social
media
 are crucial for our
life
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lives
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 today.
in
Capitalize word
In
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 my
opnion
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opinion
i
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I
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 think social apps have brought the
worse
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worst
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 to
the
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apply
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humanity today. In the
begining
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beginning
, social
media
 trends
influence
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influenced
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 users ,
specialy
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especially
specially
 users from
generation z
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Generation Z
show examples
,to mimic what they watch on
the
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apply
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social
media
.If a famous
influncer
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influencer
have
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has
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 done something unacceptable,young
people
 will mimic it.A
promiment
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prominent
 example is
Tiktok
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TikTok
 where
people
 try to
mimc
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mimic
 any kind of videos that they
saw
Wrong verb form
see
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 so that they can be a trend.
This
 example shows that users are hungry for both pride and attention and
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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 of traits were
abscent
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absent
 before social
media
.
On the other hand
,most of content on the social
media
are
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is
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 uncensored.When youth or children watch that kind of content without any restrictions,
they
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it
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affect
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affects
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 their behaviour for the worse.
For instance
,some
influncers
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influencers
 are invading social
media
 with false news which can affect
the
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apply
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public opinion for their purpose.What can be said is that without
restrection
Correct your spelling
restriction
restrictions
 on
content
Add a comma
content,
show examples
people
 could spread hate and violence easily. In conclusion,
after
this
 essay
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 shown why social
media
 have a negative impact on both behaviour and
using
Rephrase
how using
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 false
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 can shift
people
's
opnion
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opinions
 for
worse
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the worse
show examples
,I think
people
 must focus more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 spending their time on useful things like developing new skills
instead
 of wasting their time on social
media
.
Submitted by ahmedteleb500 on

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task achievement
Work on clarifying your ideas and arguments. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your thesis and stays focused on a single point. Consider expanding your discussions to provide more depth and detail.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar to make your essay easier to read and understand. Watch out for repetitive language and aim for varied vocabulary.
task achievement
Introduce more balanced perspectives and avoid overly general statements. It’s important to outline both positive and negative aspects of social media, even if you ultimately take a strong stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for your arguments.
task achievement
The main points in each paragraph are relevant to the topic, showing a good understanding of the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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