IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.

Travel has become one of the most important industries in many parts of the world. It provides jobs, supports local businesses, and brings foreign currency.
However
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, if not handled properly, exploration can
also
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 cause various problems for the environment, local people, and even for the journeyer themselves. One of the main benefits of tourism is economic growth. Many countries, especially developing ones, depend on visitors to support their economy. It creates jobs in hotels, restaurants, and transportation.
Additionally
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, sojourn encourages cultural exchange and can help preserve local traditions by making them attractive to visitors.
On the other hand
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, there are negative effects as well. If too many excursionists come to one place, it can lead to overcrowding, pollution, and damage to natural or historical sites.
For example
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, some beaches and landmarks become dirty or even destroyed because of careless tourists.
Also
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, local people may face higher living costs, as travel can increase the prices of housing and food. In some cases, tourists do not respect local customs, which can cause tension between locals and visitors. In conclusion,
while
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 jaunting brings many benefits, it can
also
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 create serious issues if it is not managed properly. Governments and local authorities should develop sustainable exploration plans that protect the environment and respect local communities.
This
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 way, globetrotting can continue to be a positive force in the future.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to enhance the argument and to illustrate your points more vividly. This can help in demonstrating the direct consequences of tourism on both economies and communities.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay’s transitions between ideas are smooth to enhance the overall flow. For instance, using phrases such as 'Moreover' or 'In addition' can create clearer connections between points.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, demonstrating a balanced perspective.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly frame the argument, which helps in setting up expectations and summarizing the main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
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