In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
In the past, good or bad harvest was critical for
people
to survive. Nowadays, agriculture developed significantly, however
, in some places in the world
Add a comma
world,
people
still suffer from famine. There are several factors that could explain the situation and there are the
number of actions to tackle it.
The most obvious are war, which led to poverty, and, Correct article usage
a
consequently
, to starvation. Statistically, hunger is more common in developing countries that suffer from military conflicts, as their leaders are careless about citizens and focus on their own ambitious plans. Furthermore
, the infrastructures in poor countries are not developed enough to make food affordable to all populations. The best example is the Democratic Republic of Congo, one of the poorest places in the world, whose residents live below the hunger line.
Unfortunately, there is no magic solution that can stop war, though, some measures can help to improve the situation. In the short term, international organizations, like the UN, should help to improve roads and warehouses. In addition
, to support local people
with the preservation and distribution of foreign food, at least to schools and refugee camps.
However
, by implementing those solutions people
should consider not to create a full dependence on the foreign volunteering force, but get local youth involved, so in future, in the long term, they can continue those projects independently. Moreover
, more sharing of resources and cooperation between the neighbourhood countries and regions can help to overcome poverty and ensure food security.
To conclude
, advanced agriculture is only one side of the coin, and it is not enough to leave famine in the past, as long as wars and poverty exist. To fight hunger all nations should work together and improve infrastructures to ensure all citizens could be fed.Submitted by vikiregev on
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task
Your response covers the main points of the prompt well, but consider elaborating on the solutions and perhaps mentioning more examples from various regions to strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and transitions smoothly from one point to the next. This will help maintain a clear logical structure throughout your essay.
task
When discussing solutions, make sure to specify how these can be practically implemented. Detailed suggestions often make your point more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task
Your essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a well-rounded explanation of the problem and potential solutions.
cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, summarizing the essay's main points effectively.
task
Your use of relevant examples, such as the Democratic Republic of Congo, adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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