Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Because of that, some produced foods and beverage products include high levels of
sugar
, which impacts people
’s health badly. Many voices assert that sugar
prices must be higher to keep people
away from consuming it. This
essay vehemently opposes such
assertions and explains why.
To begin
with, there are some valid concerns about why increasing the price of sugar
is not beneficial for people
to prevent them from being unhealthy. The factor that influences people
to redesign their purchasing habits is not price but their perceptions. Even though consumers buy relatively less sugar
due to
an increase in the price, they continue to buy and use them in their meals in the long term. For example
, the Turkish government implemented new taxes on cigarettes in order to decrease cigarette consumption in the country. Unfortunately, this
policy did not pay off since it slightly changed people
’s purchasing frequency rather than altering their awareness. Moreover
, the average cigarette consumption in Turkey is nearly the same compared to before the taxes.
Secondly
, What makes people
less willing to buy sugar
and avoid unhealthy consequences is to increase their awareness of undesired outcomes of sugar
. Therefore
, individuals slowly abandon to use of harmful products by having more knowledge about which product has positive or negative effects. Thus
, the conscious level of people
will rise. Also
, more effective and permanent outcomes will occur. According to
an article in Public Health Magazine, In Japan, marketing campaigns that highlight the damage of used batteries to nature achieved to reduction in the rate of battery trashes
in public areas by 12%.
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
To sum up
, despite the idea that sugar
must be more expensive to decrease its consumption due to
the unwanted health effects of sugar
, this
policy is not beneficial. Instead
of high prices, customers must be aware of sugar
’s dangers and use it less consciously.Submitted by smd1212 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction accurately paraphrases the essay prompt. For example, replace 'Because of that' with a clearer reference to the context.
coherence cohesion
While your example about cigarette consumption in Turkey is relevant, make sure to connect it clearly to the topic of sugar consumption for a more cohesive argument.
task achievement
Your essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas that stay relevant to the given topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with well-supported main points in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the essay’s stance.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?