Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To wat extent do you agree or disagree.

The young generation and their contributions to society are vital for the future of the community. So, some people who prone to believe that youngsters should be encouraged to initiate
work
. I think that it promoting will become well both their
work
life
and they bring to benefits community. First of all, students only engage in university studies, and it brings about deprivation of social
life
. In spite of these students learn well lessons, isolation from social
life
will difficulties in their job
life
. So, many companies hire experienced individuals who participated in various measures or are members of some organizations today.
Therefore
, teenagers should be promoted to
work
and gain experience in communities , especially in universities.
For example
, a lot of voluntary measures are taken by teachers every year in many universities in Canada. Thanks to these measures, young people are more likely to be capable and responsible in their jobs.
Secondly
, the fact that individuals
work
at a young age
also
helps them get used to the
work
environment quickly. Teamwork ensures that the youngest may
work
comfortably with their colleagues in the future in the university or colleges.
Apart from
this
, the true values of
life
like tolerance, patience, team spirit, and cooperation can be learned.
Thus
, the
work
of teenagers will benefit them the most. In conclusion, some individuals argue that young people should
work
unpaid community jobs
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
leisure time. I believe that the notion of a teenager doing unpaid
work
is indeed good for both communities and them.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses the prompt to strengthen your position.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points for a stronger argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your essay with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the use of linking words to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs for smoother reader progression.
task achievement
You've demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and its significance.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, reinforcing the essay's message.
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