IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is good fir a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #fir #country #culture #import #movies #tv #programmes
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In
this
 day and age,
people
 are more and more in demand for entertainment
such
 as
movies
 and
programs
. It
also
 engendered some valid concerns that a
country
's
culture
 should trade in many projects from abroad rather than develop local films;
however
, some
people
 are on the converse side. From my perspective, I support the former opinion that media should import some foreign ones because of convenience for linguists and having more various choices of entertainment. Beginning with the benefits of learning new speech, it is true that foreign
movies
 and
programs
 are one of the most important ways to help linguists study easily. By practical illustration through the conversations and contents in each movie, learners can acquire knowledge
such
 as vocabulary, grammar, and pronunciation faster than in some traditional ways.
For example
, recently, English has a more and more popular language in the world;
therefore
, many
people
 who want to learn it can attempt to find the resources from the bulk of
programs
 from abroad and the ones imported by a
country
's
culture
 may attract them and lead to increase the quantities of viewers and make more money from them.
Besides
, many opinions assume that it is better to produce local
movies
 and
programs
. Since it can help local
people
 know more about the
culture
, history, and customs of their
country
 from remote areas
such
 as mountainous areas. It may be true;
however
, it cannot attract viewers and develop the entertainment industry for the
country
.
For
this
 reason, I totally think that we should import foreign films.
Additionally
, from these resources, we can have many various choices to entertain
such
 as games,
movies
, and dramas. In conclusion, I think that a
country
's
culture
 should enhance a foreign film industry rather than a local one because of its benefits for language learners.
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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses both views but lacks depth in certain areas. For a higher score, further elaboration and specific examples would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure all ideas are well-connected. While the essay is generally coherent, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use cohesive devices more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring a logical structure for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally well-supported, though they could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples.
task achievement
The response covers both views as required by the prompt, showing an understanding of task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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