With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that don’t have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?
The majority of people are staying in small houses and flats that don’t have external areas
due to
the increasing number of citizens. This
writer believes that this
is a negative development because it leads to environmental problems and health issues.
It is evident that overpopulation is one of the most significant problems happening around the world. This
is such
a sore issue as it affects the environment. Thereby, having small homes with no outdoor spaces is really harmful because , with no extra land, there are not many trees
. It is true that trees
have a variety of benefits, however
, with fewer trees
there would be fewer shade areas for people to sit under , thus
, making the surroundings hotter. Moreover
, trees
capture carbon dioxide, the emission from factories and vehicles which leads to the greenhouse effect. The reduction in tree species could pollute the environment.
Another drawback when applying the no outdoor spaces strategy is that it could influence the owner’s health. Firstly
, outside areas, such
as parks, the places where everybody can go and exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle. However
, with no parks or local playgrounds, people will be passive as they do not get enough exercise needed to be energetic. What is more, many residents nowadays work night shifts which is exhausting and they go home. When having an outdoor space, they could feel the fresh air not just the stifling atmosphere from a cubic-shaped flat. As a result
, this
could help them relax and reduce the risk of getting depressed.
In conclusion, in the modern era, the number of populations is growing which leads to the fact that many citizens have to live in small homes that do not have external places. The drawback of the problem is that it could affect not only the environment but also
human health.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph follows logically from the previous one. Try to use transition phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'Therefore' more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up your argument well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your points. However, aim to integrate your main points more seamlessly into your concluding paragraph.
task achievement
Your points are generally well-supported, but some examples could be more specific. For instance, you could provide data or real-world instances that highlight the impact of living without outdoor spaces.
task achievement
To improve the clarity of your ideas, consider breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones. This will make your argument more accessible and comprehensible.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion on whether living in small homes without outdoor spaces is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have used appropriate vocabulary and sentence structures, which demonstrates a good command of English.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?