Some people think that children should learn to design and make things in school. Others believe that there are better things to learn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In light of the differing opinions regarding the importance of teaching
children
to design and create, I will provide a balanced discussion of the topic in the following sections. From my perspective, it is crucial to emphasize the significance of
this
skill in today's world.
Firstly
, it is essential to recognize that designing and creating objects is a crucial skill, especially for those who work in production or design companies.
While
some individuals may argue that
this
ability is innate and cannot be acquired, recent scientific research refutes
this
notion. Studies have shown that there are commonalities in the preferences of individuals,
such
as their preference for certain sounds and colour pairings. In fact, many music schools and colleges teach students how to create popular music and the key factors that contribute to making music hits. Providing
children
with the opportunity to learn design and creation methods in a manner
that is
widely accepted is critical, as it allows them to express their ideas and thoughts effectively.
On the other hand
, some argue that liberal arts lectures
such
as math, physics, linguistics, and P.E. are more valuable than art lectures. They believe that spending time learning about colours and designs is a waste when
children
are unsure if they will need creative
skills
in their future careers.
However
, given the advancements in technology, Artificial Intelligence (AI) is expected to replace many non-creative jobs in the future. In fact, AI is already being used in some hospitals to provide differential diagnoses
instead
of physicians and radiologists. It is not difficult to imagine that creativity will become increasingly important in many workplaces. In conclusion, I believe that
children
should learn various artistic
skills
,
such
as decorating, colouring, painting, and moulding,
as well as
other subjects. These
skills
are important for marketing and attracting the viewer's attention. As society continues to change, it is essential to teach the
skills
that are needed to succeed in the modern world.
Submitted by kana_ayaki on

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task achievement
While the essay effectively introduces and concludes the discussion, the writer could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen the argument further. Additionally, the argument could be balanced by addressing opposing views in a slightly more detailed manner, ensuring each side is given equal weight before presenting a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay's coherence and cohesion are strong, with clear logical progression and appropriate paragraphing. However, the writer should ensure that transitions between ideas are always smooth and fluid, as some sections could be more seamlessly connected.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
logical structure
The main points are logically structured and transitions are generally effective, contributing to a coherent overall argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clear and comprehensive ideas are articulated, demonstrating the writer's ability to present a balanced discussion.
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