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Band 6

many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. to what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #guarantee #job #course #university #education
Securing a job is the paramount goal for every student. Some of them are able to achieve
while
 others struggle for it. There is an ongoing debate about the
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 available for an individual either to opt for higher studies for better career opportunities or get practical
knowledge
instead
. I believe it's not just a degree or university qualification but
also
 depends on practical
knowledge
. on the one hand, higher studies could be crucial to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 a good job, but guaranteeing a sophisticated career would not be appropriate
to claim
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. Because school courses are more of theoretical
knowledge
 with a little combination of practical awareness like internships, which will not be enough for an individual to get to the top and secure a job.
Whereas
,
on the other hand
, indulging in practical practices will allow the pupil to gain experience in certain fields and help them to achieve their dream jobs.
For instance
, a hospital will not risk its reputation to hire a surgeon with no practical skills, which can affect the image of a hospital in public,
while
 the same hospital will prefer to hire a surgeon with 2 to 3 years of experience because they can understand that he can perform better in surgeries with the help of his practical
knowledge
. In conclusion, I believe that not just a college or a university degree can guarantee a post because it is based on theoretical
knowledge
.
Although
 theoretical
knowledge
 is mandatory too, but, practical
knowledge
 is preferable in nowadays world.
Submitted by gpreetmehanger on

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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your introduction more clearly by outlining the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will help the reader to understand the direction of your argument from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas to provide a clearer and more detailed response. Some sections of the essay are a bit too brief and could be elaborated further.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and restates your position clearly.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives of the argument about the importance of university education versus practical knowledge in securing a job.
task achievement
The use of an example about hiring a surgeon adds relevance and specificity to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • guarantee a good job
  • university education
  • in-depth knowledge
  • specialized skills
  • professional fields
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • high-paying
  • fulfilling jobs
  • trades
  • self-taught skills
  • expertise
  • success
  • entrepreneurs
  • practical experience
  • personal drive
  • financial burden
  • tuition fees
  • student loans
  • alternative pathways
  • job market
  • valuing skills
  • formal education
  • hands-on ability
  • academic qualifications
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