Task 2: With growing number of populations in cities, many people are living in small homes that don’t have outdoor spaces. Is this positive or negative development?
It is said that houses without outdoor areas
is
attributed to the increasing growth of individuals. As Change the verb form
are
people
would
suffer from mental problems and lose family Verb problem
apply
connection
, I contend that Fix the agreement mistake
connections
this
phenomenon is totally
negative development.
Add an article
a totally
To begin
with, this
increase in population create
a matter of household freedom. Coping with Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
this
development, the government is constructing numerous residential houses to meet the demand for inhabitant lands, which lead
to the appearance of skyscrapers and commercial buildings. Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
This
may true
that Add a missing verb
be true
people
would have the
place Correct article usage
a
for living
, yet individuals are nationally adapting their Change preposition
to live
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
fitting
with limited areas. For that reason, these Change the verb form
to fit
people
would have to narrow their own place
, making way for social innovation.
One might argue that Fix the agreement mistake
places
this
renovation could bring people
closer, boosting both mental and physical upgrades through public activities. This
could sound logical and correct; however
, the consequences are fully mistaken. Taking surrounding places from individuals, they would be forced to spend personal time mostly being
at home, leading to the possibility of depression and stress which could affect their professional life Unnecessary verb
apply
at
a whole. Change preposition
as
Furthermore
, the less free spaces they have, the worse family bonds could be. For example
, families in slums or out-date
accommodation would somehow confront difficulties in contacting Correct your spelling
out-of-date
with
other members, resulting in Change preposition
apply
misunderstanding
and conflicts which cause the aggravation of living Fix the agreement mistake
misunderstandings
condition
.
In conclusion, the unstoppable rise in worldwide populations is becoming a real concern for personal lives. Despite possible harm Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
for
mentality, the authorities should delve deeper into curing the issues before it Change preposition
to
turning
Change the form of the verb
turns
a
potential risk Change preposition
into a
for
national development.Change preposition
to
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and states your position effectively. However, try to refine your thesis statement to make it more concise.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure, but some paragraphs could be better developed. Aim to elaborate on your points with specific examples.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas are well-supported with relevant examples. This will help strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the clarity of your sentences. Some ideas are a bit confusing due to awkward phrasing. Simplifying your language can help maintain reader understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay effectively. Try to also briefly restate the main points discussed in your essay to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic and maintains it throughout.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay shows a good attempt to discuss both the mental and familial impacts of living in small homes without outdoor spaces.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.