In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

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In some countries, people claim that children can make any achievements as long as they put enough effort into those tasks.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will expound on the both upsides and downsides of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

attitude
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. On the one hand, children’s encouragement to work diligently can cultivate their positive
attitude
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Whenever the youth face any challenges in their future life, they can effectively withstand and try to overcome the problems. The more positive mindset people have, the more capabilities they show to cope with tough or unexpected situations.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they can definitely become more successful in their future working environment. Meanwhile, if the youngsters truly believe in achieving whatever they want, they show more perseverance in the pursuit of their goals. Generally, I believe that the benefits of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

attitude
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be numerous,
however
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the ability to cope with stressful situations and having more endeavours are the two most significant of them.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the drawbacks of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

perspective should not be neglected, especially in a situation where despite hard work the expected results have not been achieved.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

failure can lead to not only mental illnesses but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

low
self- esteem
Correct your spelling
self-esteem

The word self- esteem seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
.To elaborate, if adolescents put much effort into getting what they want but
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
cannot obtain the desired outcomes, they may lose their self-belief or even worse they doubt their abilities.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, suppose a child has been trying so hard for a math competition,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

she/he could not get an acceptable grade for passing to the next level of the tournament, so he/she lost self-confidence and felt frustrated.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

attitude
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by putting emphasis on effort exclusively, may underestimate the power of natural talent or other external factors in the way of success . In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is true that hard work is an indispensable element in the way of success by bringing either positive viewpoints or encouraging more attempts, the belief in its certainty can mentally affect people and lower their self-esteem.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, providing both advantages and disadvantages of the given message to children. However, you should delve deeper into some of the points, such as providing more concrete examples or statistics to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is mostly logical, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, the conclusion could be slightly more comprehensive by summarizing all the main points discussed.
task achievement
You have successfully included both perspectives (advantages and disadvantages) and made your arguments clear. This reflects well on your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an organized structure, with clear paragraphs dedicated to different points, which enhances the cohesion of your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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