In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

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In some countries, people claim that children can make any achievements as long as they put enough effort into those tasks.

This

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essay will expound on the both upsides and downsides of

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attitude

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. On the one hand, children’s encouragement to work diligently can cultivate their positive

attitude

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. Whenever the youth face any challenges in their future life, they can effectively withstand and try to overcome the problems. The more positive mindset people have, the more capabilities they show to cope with tough or unexpected situations.

As a result

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, they can definitely become more successful in their future working environment. Meanwhile, if the youngsters truly believe in achieving whatever they want, they show more perseverance in the pursuit of their goals. Generally, I believe that the benefits of

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attitude

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can be numerous,

however

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, the ability to cope with stressful situations and having more endeavours are the two most significant of them.

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, the drawbacks of

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perspective should not be neglected, especially in a situation where despite hard work the expected results have not been achieved.

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failure can lead to not only mental illnesses but

also

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low

self- esteem

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self-esteem

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.To elaborate, if adolescents put much effort into getting what they want but

they

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apply

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cannot obtain the desired outcomes, they may lose their self-belief or even worse they doubt their abilities.

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, suppose a child has been trying so hard for a math competition,

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she/he could not get an acceptable grade for passing to the next level of the tournament, so he/she lost self-confidence and felt frustrated.

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this

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attitude

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by putting emphasis on effort exclusively, may underestimate the power of natural talent or other external factors in the way of success . In conclusion,

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it is true that hard work is an indispensable element in the way of success by bringing either positive viewpoints or encouraging more attempts, the belief in its certainty can mentally affect people and lower their self-esteem.

zshahhoseinMon Jun 10 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the task, providing both advantages and disadvantages of the given message to children. However, you should delve deeper into some of the points, such as providing more concrete examples or statistics to support your claims.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is mostly logical, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, the conclusion could be slightly more comprehensive by summarizing all the main points discussed.

task achievement

You have successfully included both perspectives (advantages and disadvantages) and made your arguments clear. This reflects well on your task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has an organized structure, with clear paragraphs dedicated to different points, which enhances the cohesion of your writing.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Rich country often gives money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore developed country should give other types of help to the poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the moneycould be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?