In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.
In some countries, people claim that children can make any achievements as long as they put enough effort into those tasks.
This
essay will expound on the both upsides and downsides of Linking Words
this
Linking Words
attitude
.
On the one hand, children’s encouragement to work diligently can cultivate their positive Use synonyms
attitude
. Whenever the youth face any challenges in their future life, they can effectively withstand and try to overcome the problems. The more positive mindset people have, the more capabilities they show to cope with tough or unexpected situations. Use synonyms
As a result
, they can definitely become more successful in their future working environment. Meanwhile, if the youngsters truly believe in achieving whatever they want, they show more perseverance in the pursuit of their goals. Generally, I believe that the benefits of Linking Words
this
Linking Words
attitude
can be numerous, Use synonyms
however
, the ability to cope with stressful situations and having more endeavours are the two most significant of them.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the drawbacks of Linking Words
this
perspective should not be neglected, especially in a situation where despite hard work the expected results have not been achieved. Linking Words
This
failure can lead to not only mental illnesses but Linking Words
also
low Linking Words
self- esteem
.To elaborate, if adolescents put much effort into getting what they want but Correct your spelling
self-esteem
they
cannot obtain the desired outcomes, they may lose their self-belief or even worse they doubt their abilities.Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, suppose a child has been trying so hard for a math competition,Linking Words
while
she/he could not get an acceptable grade for passing to the next level of the tournament, so he/she lost self-confidence and felt frustrated. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
attitude
by putting emphasis on effort exclusively, may underestimate the power of natural talent or other external factors in the way of success .
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
it is true that hard work is an indispensable element in the way of success by bringing either positive viewpoints or encouraging more attempts, the belief in its certainty can mentally affect people and lower their self-esteem.Linking Words
Submitted by zshahhosein on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, providing both advantages and disadvantages of the given message to children. However, you should delve deeper into some of the points, such as providing more concrete examples or statistics to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is mostly logical, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, the conclusion could be slightly more comprehensive by summarizing all the main points discussed.
task achievement
You have successfully included both perspectives (advantages and disadvantages) and made your arguments clear. This reflects well on your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an organized structure, with clear paragraphs dedicated to different points, which enhances the cohesion of your writing.