In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

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In some countries, people claim that children can make any achievements as long as they put enough effort into those tasks.
This
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essay will expound on the both upsides and downsides of
this
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attitude
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. On the one hand, children’s encouragement to work diligently can cultivate their positive
attitude
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. Whenever the youth face any challenges in their future life, they can effectively withstand and try to overcome the problems. The more positive mindset people have, the more capabilities they show to cope with tough or unexpected situations.
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, they can definitely become more successful in their future working environment. Meanwhile, if the youngsters truly believe in achieving whatever they want, they show more perseverance in the pursuit of their goals. Generally, I believe that the benefits of
this
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attitude
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can be numerous,
however
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, the ability to cope with stressful situations and having more endeavours are the two most significant of them.
On the other hand
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, the drawbacks of
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perspective should not be neglected, especially in a situation where despite hard work the expected results have not been achieved.
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failure can lead to not only mental illnesses but
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low
self- esteem
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self-esteem
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.To elaborate, if adolescents put much effort into getting what they want but
they
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apply
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cannot obtain the desired outcomes, they may lose their self-belief or even worse they doubt their abilities.
For instance
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, suppose a child has been trying so hard for a math competition,
while
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she/he could not get an acceptable grade for passing to the next level of the tournament, so he/she lost self-confidence and felt frustrated.
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,
this
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attitude
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by putting emphasis on effort exclusively, may underestimate the power of natural talent or other external factors in the way of success . In conclusion,
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it is true that hard work is an indispensable element in the way of success by bringing either positive viewpoints or encouraging more attempts, the belief in its certainty can mentally affect people and lower their self-esteem.
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, providing both advantages and disadvantages of the given message to children. However, you should delve deeper into some of the points, such as providing more concrete examples or statistics to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is mostly logical, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, the conclusion could be slightly more comprehensive by summarizing all the main points discussed.
task achievement
You have successfully included both perspectives (advantages and disadvantages) and made your arguments clear. This reflects well on your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an organized structure, with clear paragraphs dedicated to different points, which enhances the cohesion of your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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