‎ Some young people leave the countryside to live in cities or towns, leaving only ‎older people in the countryside. What are the problems of this issue? What can ‎be done to solve this problem?‎

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is said that increasingly more young adults are migrating to metropolis which causes the problem of urban sprawling
as well as
lack of public services in some
areas
.
Nevertheless
,if there were more work amenities in the
countryside
,
this
problem would be tackled. With an upward trend in the number of young coming to urban
areas
, there would definitely be a housing shortage.
In other words
,
while
seeking job opportunities and making progress in professional aspects, people are more likely to settle down in the
cities
once they have already earned enough money on the grounds that there are more educational
together with
recreational facilities in these places. With that said
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many more buildings must be set up in order to cope with the drastically rising population, leading to construction surrounding the central
cities
via the destruction of every natural habitat or breathtaking landscape around. Imbalanced priority in public facilities should
also
be taken into consideration when it comes to the city population accounting for way more than the rural one. To put it simply, the more dense an area is, the more subsidy it gets from the governments in terms of building social services
such
as hospitals and schools.
Therefore
without a great potential for growing from the youth, the
countryside
is going to be left behind during the whole nation's developing process. Take China
for instance
, even though the capital of Beijing and its neighbours are well developed, the mountainous
areas
have been ignored for decades as there were not enough young adults to work there. By promoting the
countryside
,
however
, the governments can address
this
issue
due to
the fact that the young will no longer have to move to the
cities
so as to have a career. To be more specific, were firms to receive governmental funds to open businesses in more remote
areas
, the costs of transporting goods would be cut back on, ultimately leading to more competitive pricing.
Moreover
, as the living standards are relatively low, these companies could pay the rural citizens less than normal which will reduce to total sum even
further
.
As a consequence
of locating factories in remote
areas
, businessmen will get many benefits back in turn, whilst people will have more jobs spontaneously. In conclusion, even though more and more people moving to metropolitan regions brings the expansion of
cities
and the insufficiency of social amenities in the
countryside
, by prioritising the rural
areas
the governments can fix these issues.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While introducing the issue clearly, the essay could benefit from further elaboration on specific examples and more detailed case studies.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth flow between all parts of the essay by employing more transitional phrases, especially within paragraphs.
task response
The essay demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic and provides a clear and complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and logically structured, with the introduction and conclusion effectively framing the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • labor shortages
  • economic decline
  • cultural erosion
  • brain drain
  • social isolation
  • rural development
  • infrastructure decay
  • migration
  • healthcare
  • social services
  • local industries
  • agriculture
  • local businesses
  • cultural heritage
  • traditions
  • loneliness
  • mental health
  • investment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: