In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for years between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #years #school #university #studies

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, there are some viewpoints,

according to

Linking Words

which

one

Use synonyms

side of individuals considers that young teenagers ought to

travel

Use synonyms

to foreign countries before having university lessons.

This

Linking Words

essay will attempt to investigate the beneficial and detrimental impacts of

this

Linking Words

point. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, those who support the opinion that young individuals should work or just

travel

Use synonyms

for a year in the period of study in a high school, provide a variety of reasons to justify their idea.

Firstly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are confident in the fact that

this

Linking Words

work or

travel

Use synonyms

experience is necessary for teenagers to have more information regarding their future profession.

For instance

Linking Words

, a number of young

people

Use synonyms

do not accurately know their strong sides and preferences. It is a great opportunity for them to analyze themselves in the period of

travel

Use synonyms

or job execution and make a prompt solution about their future profession sphere.

However

Linking Words

, those who disagree with

this

Linking Words

decision present a few appropriate reasons as well. As it can be explained, it is

also

Linking Words

a high risk for parents to make

such

Linking Words

a decision. First of all, we do not exactly know whether

this

Linking Words

trend with the youngster’s experience will be successful or not, it depends on the situation and society where young

people

Use synonyms

live and with whom will communicate.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the outcome might be negative as well,

due to

Linking Words

the fact that children at

this

Linking Words

age are so young and sometimes might not react as fully mature

people

Use synonyms

might do.

Overall

Linking Words

, as a matter of fact, in order to finalize

this

Linking Words

point I would like to highlight two moments,

one

Use synonyms

of them is negative and the second

one

Use synonyms

is positive. In order to help our society

Verb problem

apply

show examples

develop, and depending on the situation, we can give equal chances for the young generation to express themselves and improve,

with

Change preposition

while

show examples

saving important factors

such

Linking Words

as intelligence, ethical norms and others.

Submitted by akhmedova.mb on Tue May 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Develop Ideas

To enhance your essay, try to develop your ideas further by providing more detailed examples. Specific examples can significantly strengthen your argument and make your position clearer.

Improve Transitions

While your essay presents a logical structure, working on smoother transitions between paragraphs could improve the overall flow of your essay. Consider using linking words or phrases more effectively to guide your reader through your arguments.

Balanced Discussion

You've tackled the task, though expanding on the advantages and disadvantages with equal depth could provide a more balanced discussion. Aim to explore both sides with similar detail to fully address the prompt.

Introduction/Conclusion

You have successfully provided a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the scope of your essay.

Logical Structure

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, organizing ideas in a coherent manner which aids understanding.

Supported Points

Main points are supported, showing your effort to justify your opinions. This adds credibility to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?
People throughout the world are dramatically willing to own a private car in recent decades which caused many mega cities experience heavy traffic daily. I believe this issue which is unwelcomed is happening so, steps should be taken by governments to control before it becomes chaos.
4.5
band
#Essays #Task2 In some countries younger people are increasingly losing interest in teaching. Why is this happening? What can be done to improve the situation? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your own experience.
it is argued that in many nations has shown significant rise in the lack of youngsters the interest in the field of the teaching due to their low salary and teaching usual traditional way this could be tickled by improved financial system in addition, effective learning system mechanisms
7
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Some people choose to live in a house, while others prefer to live in an apartment because they believe that there are more advantages. This essay will argue that, despite the fact that living in a house is more spacious, people who live in apartments have more benefits because the security system is better and the price is more economical.
7.5
band
Some people think that individuals and companies, rather than the government, should pay for cleaning pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Environmental pollution has been a major contributor to the climate change. Some people think that organisations as well as people have contributed to this impurity. Thus, both parties should contribute to the cost of cleaning up instead of the authorities. I personally believe that it should be a collective effort by all of them. My opinion will be discussed in the following paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.
7
band
In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued that the elderly are noticed most whereas the next generations in other regions seem to play a more vital role. Despite this writer contends that youngsters are precious due to enthusiasm and sense of acute, this writer believes that maturity is more experienced.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for years between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

#Essays #Task2 In some countries younger people are increasingly losing interest in teaching. Why is this happening? What can be done to improve the situation? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your own experience.

Some people think that individuals and companies, rather than the government, should pay for cleaning pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.