IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.

The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.
#consumption
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The line graph illustrates the amounts of 3 spreads which were consumed between 1981 and 2007 and the figures were measured in
grams
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of butter and margarine
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular trend in the beginning and they decreased dramatically.
In contrast
Linking Words
, low fat and reduced spreads were
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 popular beginning at the time
period
Use synonyms
 but they rose significantly
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 were most popular in the end.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 butter
consumption
Use synonyms
, was just over 140
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1981, and it wildly decreased and reached up
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 50 in 2007.
Similarly
Linking Words
, margarin was eaten
nearly
Change preposition
at nearly
show examples
 90
grams
Use synonyms
 in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 year and fluctuated and fell in the given time
period
Use synonyms
, except between 1991 and 1996, it
was remained
Change to the active voice
remained
has remained
show examples
exactly
Change preposition
at exactly
show examples
 100
grams
Use synonyms
 in these years. And it fell around 40
grams
Use synonyms
 in the final year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
 and reduced spreads saw an upward trend in the five years
period
Use synonyms
,
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from about 10
grams
Use synonyms
 to 70
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
In addition
Linking Words
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 figure
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
became
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular
consumption
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words grams, consumption, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • spreads
  • increased
  • decreased
  • stable
  • significantly
  • approximately
  • per capita
  • remarkable
  • peaked
  • experienced
  • started
  • remained
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