The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram depicts how
sugar
is manufactured from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, It is evident that the
sugar
production process contains five main stages including farming, harvesting, crushing, separation, and drying.
Initially
, it takes 12 to 18 months for
sugar
cane to grow and become well-qualified and
also
appropriate for use. So, when
this
crop completely becomes mature, it is harvested either manually which involves workers picking them up with their hands, or mechanically which means collecting canes by machines like tractors, prepared for the next stage.
Subsequently
, ready
sugar
canes are poured into a device to turn into juice.
Next,
the juice is purified by crossing the limestone filter before being transferred to the evaporator. In the evaporator chamber, cleaned juice is heated and becomes syrup. In the next step,
sugar
crystals are separated from syrup when the centrifuge starts to rotate.
Finally
, in the
last
section, the sweet and wet particles are dried and cooled in a container, ready to use.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mature
  • harvest
  • extract
  • purification
  • impurities
  • evaporation
  • thick syrup
  • crystallization
  • centrifugation
  • molasses
  • raw sugar crystals
  • refinement
  • purify
  • whiten
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