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Band 7

Some people think that the best way to stay fit is by joining a gym, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #gym #activities #stairs
People
 have different views as to whether the most effective method to stay fit is by enrolling in a
gym
. In my perspective, despite some
people
 agreeing with
this
 approach for various reasons, I firmly believe that activities
such
 as walking and climbing stairs bring about many more benefits. On the one hand, there are three main aspects why
people
 should join a
gym
 in order to stay fit. The first contributing factor is several kinds of equipment that are available for members. To be more illustrated, the
gym
 offers more than enough facilities to choose from, allowing its customers to choose which part of their body they want to improve.
Moreover
, it provides trainers with a handful of experience, which plays a crucial role in enhancing individuals as they could give them a piece of advice and guide them to their goals.
Lastly
, a member's schedule would be designed by those trainers, so it indirectly forces them to work out with discipline.
On the other hand
, there are three main reasons that other
people
 declare that everyday activities are enough with no need to use
gym
 services.
Firstly
,
people
 can save money for other essential things.
Instead
 of paying for a
gym
 membership every month, spending money on daily expenses and education would be worth more in the long run. Another point to be mentioned is convenience since
people
 can certainly perform everyday activities at any time and anywhere with less intensity on their bodies.
Lastly
, walking outdoors has many benefits as it allows
people
 to relieve their stress and enjoy nature. In conclusion,
although
 doing exercise in a
gym
 helps
people
 to stay fit, I am convinced that it is not the only way to do so.
Submitted by pandin21 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can help illustrate your arguments more clearly.
task achievement
Aim to develop your main points with a bit more depth. This will enhance the comprehensiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider linking your ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs for improved flow.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, which contributes to a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear start and finish to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is solid, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Structured workouts
  • Professional guidance
  • Variety of equipment
  • Tailored fitness programs
  • Motivation
  • Convenient
  • Cost-effective
  • Natural integration
  • Comprehensive workout
  • Measure progress
  • Self-motivation
  • Sustainable
  • Fitness habits
  • General well-being
  • Psychological benefits
  • Intimidation
  • Time commitment
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