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Band 5.5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening?

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace
In the modern workplace, the workforce is being replaced by intelligent machines.
This
 essay's author believes that
this
 is a positive development
due to
 bringing new
jobs
,and physical
health
. It must be understood that having changed human workers to
Correct article usage
a robots
show examples
robots
Fix the agreement mistake
robot
show examples
 workforce.
This
especially
Add a missing verb
is especially
show examples
 so if
robots
 have to do almost all
jobs
 including blue-collar, There will be new
jobs
 for citizens
such
 as controlling or coding these
robots
.
Therefore
, it allows the employee to manage their schedule
while
 maintaining a
work
-life balance working from wherever they are in the world within robot supporter.
For example
,
robots
 allow
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
 to
work
 remotely, using their phone or laptops to control
this
robotrobot
Correct your spelling
robot robot
also
 can use them for answering or giving suggestions at
work
. Another argument worth considering is that employees can develop better physical
health
 when they are removed away from dangerous, toxic
jobs
. When working away from these
jobs
, the individuals may feel like they can
work
 at their own pace, focus on their
health
 like going to the gym or working online at home, take breaks when needed and deal with less stress because all the heavy
jobs
 are done by artificial intelligence.
Consequently
, working for long hours each day in a dangerous and poisonous workplace condition with co-workers and management can seriously impact a person's physical
health
, leading to cancer or injury. In Conclusion, there are more positive elements than negative, as there are clear benefits to individuals who
work
 with
robots
, including having a flexible schedule.
However
, those working away from the bad conditions working places should
also
 manage their
work
-to-life balance is being helped by
robots
 to manage their physical
health
.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on structuring your sentences more clearly to enhance readability. Consider revising complex or run-on sentences.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples to make your arguments more persuasive. Providing more detailed instances or data can strengthen your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on avoiding repetition of words and phrases. Synonyms and varied vocabulary can make your writing more engaging.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic systematically, showing understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps structure your essay effectively.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples which support your main points nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • capabilities
  • efficiency
  • repetitive
  • physically demanding
  • manufacturing
  • assembly lines
  • enhancing
  • accuracy
  • innovation
  • precision
  • integration
  • customer service
  • chatbots
  • automated response systems
  • revolutionizing
  • hazardous environments
  • deep-sea exploration
  • space missions
  • cognitive tasks
  • data analysis
  • decision-making
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