A city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings rather than replacing them with modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there is a trend of constructing new
buildings
in a lot of cities. Some people
argue that a city should maintain traditional architectures rather than replacing them with modern ones. I agree to a certain extent with this
view. While
there may be some convincing reasons why municipal councils should keep traditional constructions, the reasons why they should replace them with modern ones are more significant.
On the one hand, when traditional buildings
are protected, there are some benefits
. One of the reasons is that municipal councils can keep traditional scenery by maintaining old properties so that their cities can become famous tourist destinations which appeal to travellers from other areas. For example
, Kiyomizu-temple in Kyoto is one of the major tourist sites in the world for its magnificent landscapes. Another reason is that maintaining historic properties leads to passing traditional local culture on to the next generation who are interested in local history. Those young can find and learn about the historic culture and ancient lifestyle in their local areas from historic constructions, which leads to respect for ancestors.
On the other hand
, when a city builds a modern style of buildings
, we can see more benefits
. First,
up-to-date architectures generally attract a large number of people
since those architectures are usually equipped with the latest functions and features, such
as facilities of brightness, spacious layout, and attractive events, which make the users feel comfortable. For instance
, constructions of ‘Toranomon-hills’ in Tokyo which include both fascinating shopping and office areas, are always packed with thousands of visitors and office workers. Second,
building owners also
financially benefit from new facilities due to
the fact that modern facilities attract various people
and increase the number of visitors and tenants. As a result
, property owners in general result in earning more profits.
In conclusion, I believe that the local government should update historic buildings
with brand new ones because although
the benefits
from protecting traditional architecture are limited to travellers and people
who are interested in local history, the update of historic buildings
will bring about more benefits
to a wider range of people
.Submitted by june06112000 on
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task achievement
Your essay thoroughly addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a well-rounded response. However, consider discussing the opposing side in a bit more depth to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear and well-structured, a few transitional phrases and connectives could be improved to enhance the overall coherence and flow. For example, phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'However,' could be used more effectively to link paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively used specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a logical beginning and end that help the reader follow your line of thought.
coherence cohesion
The main points of your argument are well-supported with relevant explanations and examples, making your essay highly persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.