It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There has been a lively debate about whether the
history
curriculum should place emphasis on local
history
rather than international
history
. From my perspective, I disagree with
this
view. On the one hand, it is undeniable that fostering national pride and identity in young children is of utmost significance.
Therefore
, the role of national
history
lessons should not be ignored as
such
lessons can cultivate a profound sense of patriotism and national pride in young
students
.
For example
, if Vietnamese children are given lessons about how valiantly their ancestors fought for the freedom of their motherland, they are likely to become more patriotic and be willing to devote themselves to the country’s development when they grow up.
Nevertheless
, I believe it would be unwise to focus solely on domestic
history
.
First,
a comprehensive study of world
history
can enable young learners to gain a deeper and more nuanced understanding of their country's
history
, rather than developing a superficial and myopic perspective.
For instance
, if Vietnamese
students
are taught about the geopolitical and international factors that have influenced Vietnam's
history
, they will acquire a more balanced and nuanced interpretation of their country's past.
Furthermore
, having a good grasp of other nations' histories can
also
help children learn to be more tolerant and embrace differences in cultures, religions, and political systems between countries.
This
not only benefits
students
' career prospects when working in multinational environments but
also
contributes to the
overall
harmony of the world. In conclusion, it is paramount that educators integrate both local and global
history
to help
students
develop a rich and multifaceted understanding of their country
as well as
the world.
Submitted by weezel on

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task achievement
While the essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas, ensuring that all points are elaborately explained will enrich the discussion further. Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to illustrate points better.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Pay attention to creating seamless connections between paragraphs to make the essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, offering a clear view of the writer's stance and summing up the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, covering the importance of both local and global history, thus providing a complete response.
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