IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Advertising aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Advertising aimed at
children
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 has become a controversial issue, with some arguing that it should be banned.
While
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 I acknowledge the potential risks of exposing young audiences to misleading or harmful content, I completely disagree with the idea of prohibition.
Instead
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, I believe that advertising can play a positive role in awareness, education, and entertainment when properly regulated. On one side, critics of advertising to
children
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 highlight several drawbacks. Some adverts may contain exaggerated or deceptive claims, which could mislead young viewers who are not yet capable of critical judgment. Others may promote inappropriate behaviours,
such
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 as violence or risky sexual practices, which
children
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 might imitate. These concerns are valid and must be taken seriously;
however
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, they do not justify an outright ban. Rather, they demonstrate the need for stricter regulation to ensure that only age-appropriate content is broadcast. On the other
side
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hand
show examples
, the benefits of advertising directed at
children
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 outweigh its drawbacks.
Firstly
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, it raises awareness about useful products designed specifically for them.
For instance
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, an advert for healthy snacks or instant noodles can encourage
children
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 to request
such
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 items from their parents, thereby boosting demand and supporting businesses.
Secondly
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, advertisements can serve as a form of entertainment. Many
children
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 find joy in jingles or colourful animations, which can calm them during tantrums and provide caregivers with some relief.
Furthermore
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, adverts can
also
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 serve educational purposes. Campaigns on issues
such
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 as hygiene, safety, and the prevention of child abuse can be effectively communicated through engaging media tailored to young audiences. In
this
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 way, advertising can contribute to moulding positive behaviour rather than harmful ones. In conclusion,
while
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children
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’s exposure to inappropriate advertisements is a valid concern, banning
such
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 content altogether would be impractical and unnecessary.
Instead
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, governments and media regulators should focus on tailoring advertising to be safe, informative, and entertaining for young viewers. I
therefore
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 strongly disagree with a ban, as responsible advertising can play a vital role in
children
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’s learning, wellbeing, and consumer choices.

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Task Response
Be sure to answer the task. Say your view at the start and keep it in every paragraph.
Coherence
Make links from one idea to the next. Use words like first, next, also, but.
Structure
Add a short intro that says your view and a short close that restates it.
Content
Give strong and clear examples that back up the point you make.
Language
Use simple words. Avoid long or hard, new words.
Organization
Make sure each idea has its own paragraph.
Strength
Clear view kept in all parts.
Structure
Good form with intro, body, and conclusion.
Language
Use of simple and easy words.
Content
Relevant ideas that fit the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • behave
  • better
  • punished
  • rewarded
  • believe
  • effective
  • arguing
  • immediately
  • unwanted
  • fear
  • pain
  • good
  • actions
  • praise
  • treated
  • learn
  • positive
  • feedback
  • happy
  • feel
  • repeat
  • future
  • create
  • problems
  • rather
  • learn
  • wrong
  • caught
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