In some pleces old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In several nations, the role of the elderly is emphasized
due to
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their wide range of experiences,
whereas
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other countries believe that the youth is far more crucial because of their initiatives for
future
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developments. The writer, in light of
this
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, advocates that the youth has an imperative impact on the
future
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achievements of the whole civilization.
Initially
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, it must be recognized that the young generation plays an essential role in countless forthcoming breakthroughs in many aspects of life. As part of modernization, it is apparent that
technology
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is likely to be applied to a wide range of human matters in the
future
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. Specifically,
this
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is true in Japan, where virtual
technology
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has been integrated into the formal academic education of children,
thus
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ensuring these young learners entirely comprehend the lessons and become well-educated individuals contributing to the property of their nation over the past decade. These pieces of
technology
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,
however
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, may be highly complicated for the elderly to master,
therefore
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, they might be left behind in their later lives. Some sceptics,
nevertheless
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, emphasize numerous priceless insights that the older generation can pass on to their offspring. To clarify, they justify that these individuals have been experienced enough to provide the youth with reliable and suitable advice, instructions, or guidelines that assist
this
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immature generation to develop holistically in a direct way. To a certain extent,
this
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is credible,
nonetheless
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, it is vital to acknowledge that these lessons and insights may be outdated and cannot be used in
this
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modern era, where people’s lives have been altered dramatically compared to the previous generations’ ones. The firm opinion of
this
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writer is that the role of current teenagers is far more important for subsequent success. Since the costs for maintaining and improving the elderly’s life expectancy and other advancements in the global healthcare system are highly excessive, governments are likely to confront the financial burden for these purposes in the
future
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.
This
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enormous amount of money,
on the other hand
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, can be taken advantage of by improving the education conditions for these children, who are going to achieve many breakthroughs in academic fields.
As a result
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, the living quality of other individuals in society as a whole will be enhanced significantly
such
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as an approach that can cure cancer. In conclusion,
although
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some argue the valuable experiences and instructions of the elderly, the control of forthcoming
technology
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and the potentials of the young are far more vital and must be considered. It is,
furthermore
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, obvious that the better education quality these young learners can get involved in, the better conditions others will live in.
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coherence cohesion
Consider refining the logical structure within paragraphs to make relationships between ideas even clearer.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every main point is consistently well-supported with detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
Further elaborate on some points to enrich your arguments and clarify any abstract concepts.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic comprehensively and provides a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-constructed, effectively framing your discussion.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argumentation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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