Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals opine that nowadays we can access

movies

Use synonyms

on smartphones and computers,so there is no need to visit the

theatre

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

others believe that for entertainment it is better to watch

films

Use synonyms

in the cinema.

This

Linking Words

essay will argue that

although

Linking Words

watching

movies

Use synonyms

on phones can save money as well

people

Use synonyms

can watch them

any time

Correct your spelling

anytime

show examples

,some 3D

films

Use synonyms

can give a better

experience

Use synonyms

in the

theatre

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

,I support the former viewpoint.

To begin

Linking Words

with,a group of

people

Use synonyms

suggest that there is no need to visit the Cineplex because we can watch it on our mobiles and laptops.The prime benefit is saving money.To elaborate,if

people

Use synonyms

go with family to the cinema,it will cost them more including the cost of tickets,travelling and refreshments.

Therefore

Linking Words

,they can choose to be at home to watch

movies

Use synonyms

on TV.

Moreover

Linking Words

,another reason is that digital technology gives an option to repeat any part of a

movie

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

it is nearly impossible in the

movie

Use synonyms

theatre

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

,if a person likes the song of a

movie

Use synonyms

,he will rewind it and watch it again and again.

Thus

Linking Words

,it is better to see

movies

Use synonyms

on tablets rather than visiting the

multiplex

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

,many viewers still believe that the

theatre

Use synonyms

is the best venue to enjoy

films

Use synonyms

.First and foremost,

people

Use synonyms

are getting extremely busy with their work,so

this

Linking Words

place can be a better option for getting together and reunions.

In addition

Linking Words

,there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

some 3D picture quality

that is

Linking Words

only available in the

multiplex

Use synonyms

cinema,

hence

Linking Words

it enhances the valuable

experience

Use synonyms

for the viewers.

For instance

Linking Words

,It was my own

experience

Use synonyms

,I watched a 3D

movie

Use synonyms

in the

multiplex

Use synonyms

with high graphics, on the same film I saw on my laptop and I felt the difference

Change preposition

show examples

not only quality but

also

Linking Words

graphics.

To conclude

Linking Words

,It is eventually commented that

movies

Use synonyms

that are watched on phones can save money and rewind options for

people

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

some top quality

films

Use synonyms

need to be seen in the

multiplex

Use synonyms

to gain a wonderful

experience

Use synonyms

pp6859Tue Jun 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure proper spacing after commas and between words for better readability, e.g., 'computers, so' instead of 'computers,so'.

task achievement

The essay would benefit from more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical errors, such as missing articles or incorrect verb forms, to improve the overall quality of writing.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear discussion of both viewpoints, supporting each with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The writer offers a balanced perspective, acknowledging the benefits of both watching movies on personal devices and in cinemas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively outlines the main argument, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the points discussed.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Convenience
Mobile Viewing
Cost-efficient
Time-efficient
Personalized experience
Immersive
Cinematic experience
Surround sound
Collective experience
Technical superiority
Sensory experience
Social hubs
Cultural events
Distractions
Preservation
Filmmaking art
Cinematographic nuances

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