More and more people are forgetting the actual meaning of occasions (e.g. national festivals). What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions do you suggest?
Festivals indeed bring more pleasures. But a large number of
people
fail to recall the real essence of carnivals. Hectic work schedules and personal celebrations are the primary reasons for this
tendency, even though several remedies can overcome this
issue. This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
with, many people
forget to celebrate their national festivals such
as the independence and religious-related festivals. One of the main causes of that individuals are living in a modern era with fast-paced, so they are pre-occupied with their daily routine without think
about national celebrations. Change the verb form
thinking
For example
, the indepenceday
Correct word choice
independent
people
do not celebrate with patriotic
Replace the word
patriotism
besides
they love to spend a
time with their loved ones. Another main reason is that Correct article usage
apply
people
give more significance to personal celebrations like birthdays, and anniversaries because they like to spend time with their family members, relatives and friends while
they get a lot of fun and memories.
Although
there are solutions that can overcome this
issue. One of the major remedies is that the authorities should encourage the population to celebrate the national carnivals through
conducting stage shows or plays about the freedom warriors. Change preposition
by
For instance
, local authorities should conduct speech poet and dance competitions in schools in
Independence Day, and Change preposition
on
as a result
, students have more patriotism towards nations since childhood. Another main solution is that the local newspapers should release based on the freedom warriers
and Correct your spelling
warriors
relious
heroes' biographies as documentaries and Correct your spelling
religious
stories-based
on news.
In conclusion, individuals fail to remember and celebrate Correct your spelling
stories based
the
national occasions because of pre-occupied daily Correct article usage
apply
routine
and personal Fix the agreement mistake
routines
celebartions
. Creating awareness to the public through stage shows, plays, stories and documentaries about warriors and freedom fighters Correct your spelling
celebrations
celebration
that
can lead to Correct pronoun usage
apply
increase
patriotism and stimulate to Wrong verb form
increased
celebate
Correct your spelling
celebrate
the
national occasions.Correct article usage
apply
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coherence
The essay has a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which demonstrates a clear logical flow. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect coherence and readability. For example, 'the indepenceday people do not celebrate with patriotic besides they love to spend a time with their loved ones.' This could be better phrased as 'people do not celebrate Independence Day patriotically; instead, they prefer spending time with their loved ones.'
task response
The points made in the essay are relevant to the topic and the ideas are quite clear. However, the examples provided could be more specific and varied to strongly support the main arguments. For instance, instead of simply mentioning 'local authorities should conduct speech poet and dance competitions in schools,' you can specify further how these measures can create long-term impacts.
task response and coherence
The essay displays efforts to introduce solutions to the problem, which is positive. Further improvements can be made by elaborating on the effectiveness of the proposed solutions. Additionally, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
coherence
The essay follows a solid structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task response
The main points are relevant and aligned with the topic, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
task response
There is a strong attempt to provide solutions to the problem, showing critical thinking and engagement with the topic.
Your opinion
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