Today most people get married and give birth in their 30s rather than when they younger is it positive and negative development in your opinion.
In
this
contemporary era, everything happens in pace-faced besides
marriage
. In these
days, a large number of people marry and birth Change preposition
These
children
after thirty years Change preposition
to children
of
old Change preposition
apply
instead
of young age. I think this
is a positive breakthrough and this
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
with, later marriage
brings more beneficials
to the population who delay Correct your spelling
benefits
marriage
because marriage
is a long-term commitment it
requires secure financial stability. Correct pronoun usage
that
This
means individuals work-hard
to earn money and save some amount of fortune for their future and it takes Correct your spelling
work hard
long
time to settle Change the article
a long
by
financially that's why many get married after Change preposition
apply
thirties
. Correct pronoun usage
their thirties
For example
, most
Change preposition
in most
western
nations' Capitalize word
Western
person
marry and start their family Fix the agreement mistake
people
life
after thirties
but they have Correct pronoun usage
their thirties
a
good wealth to take care of their family members Correct article usage
apply
by
financially. Needless to Change preposition
apply
say
money Add a comma
say,
play
a crucial role in Change the verb form
plays
marriage
life
so after thirty get
married can lead to Wrong verb form
getting
live
a happy Change the verb form
living
life
without financial burden.
Furthermore
, after thirty only people have more maturity to save and protect their family life
without ego and selflessness. This
means family life
is going a
long-term and they do not give a chance to divorce because both persons are more mature and they know how to handle the problems and how to raise their children. Change the article
apply
For instance
, children perform in academics when their parents were
married after Wrong verb form
are
thirties
because parents do not disturb their toddler's education through family fights. Correct pronoun usage
their thirties
Hence
, late marriage
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
to grow up
infants with Verb problem
raise
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
life
.
In conclusion, after thirties
getting married can bring enormous benefits to the public Change the article
the thirties
such
as save
money and wealth for family commitments Wrong verb form
saving
as well as
they may have more maturity and save
their relationship without getting Wrong verb form
saving
divorce
than younger married couples. Wrong verb form
divorced
Therefore
, I believe that this
is a positive development and it brings more windfalls.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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task achievement
Ensure that the essay responds to all aspects of the prompt comprehensively. The essay should discuss both positive and negative aspects if asked for, but in this case, you've chosen to argue it as a positive development which is fine. However, providing a brief mention of counterarguments or negatives can strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. Specific examples can make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring a more comprehensive linking of ideas within and between paragraphs. Transitions can be smoother to enhance readability. For example, using more varied transition phrases would avoid a repetitive structure.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports a single main point relevant to your overall argument, and those points are sufficiently developed and supported by evidence.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion. Both are present and summarize the essay’s stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
Overall logical structure is good. The essay follows a clear pattern and stays on topic, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay has a clear position and articulates the perceived positive aspects of delayed marriages. It remains focused on presenting the positive side.