In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Across the globe people who live in rural areas,
such
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as
villages
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, are moving to the
cities
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, and the population in the
villages
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are declining. I think it is a positive development because individuals can earn more
money
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and it could be beneficial for
students
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to study in the municipality. Many individuals can earn
money
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in the
cities
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more. Because there are a lot of options to choose from and the workplaces in the
cities
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are giving more
money
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to the employees.
Nevertheless
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, there are a small amount of options for earning cash region.
Therefore
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the population is decreasing in
villages
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because of the shortage of
money
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.
For example
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, many
villages
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in Turkey are moving from their region to
more
Correct article usage
a more
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developed place to earn more
money
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than their previous job in the village. Studying in the
cities
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has so many benefits to
students
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. To elaborate, there are numerous schools and universities in
bigger
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the bigger
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municipality
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municipalities
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.
Therefore
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, many
students
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want to study in the
cities
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because there are not many options In rural regions because there are approximately third-level education.
For instance
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, universities in Romania have many
students
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from rural
region
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regions
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to complete their studies because there are a small amount of opportunities for studying where they previously lived. In conclusion,
although
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the population in the suburbs are declining, I believe that it would be a positive development for people who want to earn more cash and for
students
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who want more opportunities for study which would be better for them to move to bigger areas.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a broader perspective on the topic by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of rural-to-urban migration. This would strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the clarity and coherence of your points. Some sentences could be rephrased for better understanding and logical flow. For example, rather than saying 'Therefore the population is decreasing in villages because of the shortage of money', clarify how the lack of job opportunities leads to this shortage.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use the correct forms of words and phrases. For instance, 'small amount of options for earning cash region' can be improved to 'small number of job opportunities in the region'.
Positive Aspect
You provided clear reasons for your opinion on the topic, emphasizing economic opportunities and educational benefits. This shows a good understanding of the motivations behind migration.
Positive Aspect
Your examples from Turkey and Romania effectively illustrate your points, which adds credibility to your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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