In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Across the globe people who live in rural areas,

such

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villages

Use synonyms

, are moving to the

cities

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, and the population in the

villages

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are declining. I think it is a positive development because individuals can earn more

money

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and it could be beneficial for

students

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to study in the municipality. Many individuals can earn

money

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in the

cities

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more. Because there are a lot of options to choose from and the workplaces in the

cities

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are giving more

money

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to the employees.

Nevertheless

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, there are a small amount of options for earning cash region.

Therefore

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the population is decreasing in

villages

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because of the shortage of

money

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For example

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, many

villages

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in Turkey are moving from their region to

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

developed place to earn more

money

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than their previous job in the village. Studying in the

cities

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has so many benefits to

students

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. To elaborate, there are numerous schools and universities in

bigger

Add an article

the bigger

show examples

municipality

Fix the agreement mistake

municipalities

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Therefore

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, many

students

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want to study in the

cities

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because there are not many options In rural regions because there are approximately third-level education.

For instance

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, universities in Romania have many

students

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from rural

region

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regions

show examples

to complete their studies because there are a small amount of opportunities for studying where they previously lived. In conclusion,

although

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the population in the suburbs are declining, I believe that it would be a positive development for people who want to earn more cash and for

students

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who want more opportunities for study which would be better for them to move to bigger areas.

mcqueensever Sun Feb 02 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider providing a broader perspective on the topic by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of rural-to-urban migration. This would strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on the clarity and coherence of your points. Some sentences could be rephrased for better understanding and logical flow. For example, rather than saying 'Therefore the population is decreasing in villages because of the shortage of money', clarify how the lack of job opportunities leads to this shortage.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to use the correct forms of words and phrases. For instance, 'small amount of options for earning cash region' can be improved to 'small number of job opportunities in the region'.

Positive Aspect

You provided clear reasons for your opinion on the topic, emphasizing economic opportunities and educational benefits. This shows a good understanding of the motivations behind migration.

Positive Aspect

Your examples from Turkey and Romania effectively illustrate your points, which adds credibility to your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Companies nowadays rarely offer long term contract to their employees. What are the advantages and disadvantages to this practice?

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: ﻿﻿Your reason for writing ﻿﻿What you would like to happen ﻿﻿A nice, respectful style.

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style.