Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history .Discuss your opinion and both the view points
Nowadays, many people believe that schools should not teach
history
anymore. Others argue that studying history
is mandatory for the development of countries. In my opinion, history
should not be neglected, as it helps us to learn from the past and avoid repeating the same mistakes.
On the one hand, some proponents agree that studying history
takes a lot of time which can be used in studying subjects related to technology. They think that history
will not help prospective graduates to
find jobs, but focusing on technology and artificial intelligence could be a privilege for them when they want to apply for a job. Verb problem
apply
For instance
, mega companies
in any field try to employ people who have a good knowledge of using computers. Add a hyphen
mega-companies
As a result
, they feel that history
is not useful, and it is a time-consuming subject as students need to memorize a lot of information to succeed in their exams.
Conversely
, a lot of folks emphasize that without studying history
we can not develop either in our work or in our lives. For them, history
taught us how people used to think from a different perspective to pass their obstacles, hence
studying it will reflect on what we do and how we think which will support us to reach what we want faster. As a result
, they think that societies will improve and they will have better results in a shorter time. For instance
, many armies follow the previous leaders' plans when they want to attack or defend which will give them the time to pay attention to other details.
In conclusion, I believe that in order for notions to grow, history
is a must as it directs us to make the right choice and will prevent us from falling into the same problems.Submitted by okalqusay on
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task achievement
Although the main points are clear and relevant, providing additional examples or evidence to support some of your claims could strengthen your argument. For example, adding specific cases where historical knowledge has directly influenced modern technological advancements could add more depth.
coherence cohesion
The essay already has a good logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. However, make sure to include varied linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas. This can help improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets up the topic well, inviting the reader to consider both viewpoints.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both perspectives and presented your opinion clearly in the conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite