IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe that people should make efforts to fight climate change while others think it is better to learn to live with it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often believed that individual efforts are essential to confront
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think
people
Use synonyms
 should adapt to it. I personally support the former view, for steady progress can be made to reduce the effect of humans on the environment regardless of the growing difficulty of coping with the problem. On the one hand, an active approach is demanded to mitigate
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 as individuals become more responsible for their actions.
In other words
Linking Words
, it has become an urgent need for
people
Use synonyms
 to refrain from some actions that are detrimental to nature before the rising
temperature
Use synonyms
 accelerates
further
Linking Words
, making
people
Use synonyms
 and other wild animals suffer.
For instance
Linking Words
, individual efforts to drive electric cars
instead
Linking Words
 of gasoline cars would have a positive effect in reducing the emission of harmful chemicals
as well as
Linking Words
 CO2 which are primary culprits for global warming.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the evidence that there has been a certain improvement in
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 as it declined by about 0.1 degrees Celsius in 2022 from the previous year makes individual actions crucial.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the effort still has a minor effect on the global
temperature
Use synonyms
 and it is increasingly important for
people
Use synonyms
 to adapt to the sudden
change
Use synonyms
. Indeed, taking action to protect life for survival is more essential than trying to fight against it since the situation has already been made worse as
people
Use synonyms
 face the unusual rise of
temperature
Use synonyms
 and many
people
Use synonyms
 die as they are constantly exposed to the intense heat during the day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a sense of comfort and satisfaction would grow with a different lifestyle
such
Linking Words
 as staying indoors and having portable fans to cool themselves whenever they need to go outside.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are able to secure their own lives to extend their longevity and promote their prosperity. In conclusion, I agree that
people
Use synonyms
 should take responsible acts to prevent the rise of
temperature
Use synonyms
, which can gradually alter the current situation.
However
Linking Words
, the fast
change
Use synonyms
 of
climate
Use synonyms
 requires
people
Use synonyms
 to come up with a clever way to protect their own lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a clear opinion. However, you can enhance your task achievement by further elaborating on alternative viewpoints and offering a more balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring smooth transitions between your points to improve the flow of your essay. This will make the reader’s journey through your argument more seamless.
task achievement
Consider including more specific examples and data to substantiate your points. This will further convince the reader of your argument and enhance your task achievement score.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and restates your opinion, which reinforces your argument.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured, with each paragraph serving a clear purpose in the overall argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy
  • afforestation
  • sustainable practices
  • extreme weather events
  • carbon emissions
  • infrastructure
  • agricultural practices
  • moral responsibility
  • ecosystems
  • green jobs
  • economic growth
  • job losses
  • poverty alleviation
  • quality of life
  • proactive measures
  • balanced approach
  • green technology
  • unavoidable impacts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: