IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some Universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s developed world, it is true that online courses have been offered in some universities
instead
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 of
classes
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 delivered on
campus
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. Personally,
this
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 phenomenon is wholly detrimental
due to
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students
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 having difficulty paying
attention
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 to the lessons and affecting the health of
students
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. The main drawback of applying online courses in study
instead
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 of offline
classes
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 is that it is hard to pay
attention
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 during
school
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 times. Take something as an example, in 2018, Emily Gilmore made an experiment to expose that studying offline
more
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is more
show examples
effectively
Change the word
effective
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 than online
classes
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. She chose 20
people
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, 10
people
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 studied online at their
home
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 and other
people
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 went to
campus
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.
This
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 experiment happened in 2 weeks, after finishing all the
time
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 followed by Emily Gilmore, they had to do a survey about the level of paying
attention
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 to the lessons that they studied and the result delineated the figure for the
students
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 who learned on the
campus
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 were 72 per cent and the undergraduates studied at
home
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 were 36%. The above experiment shows that studying online is less focused than at
school
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. Another merit is that reading up on the computer screen for a long
time
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 affects the health of learners. Focusing absolutely on the technological devices’ screen will lead to eye diseases because using devices for many hours causes the eyes to work continuously.
On the other hand
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, the benefit of studying online is that it is more active for
students
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 who live far from
school
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 or during covid 19
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time
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times
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, they do not need to go to
campus
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 every day because they can study at
home
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 alternatively.
For instance
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, in 2019 covid was a significant disease and
students
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 had to stay at
home
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 for 6 months, at
this
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time
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 everything became hard for
people
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 to go outside and especially going to
school
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 was a difficult issue for learners because of that we studied online,
although
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 online lesson did not effectively, at
this
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time
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this
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 was the best way for youth to connect with teachers. In conclusion, I consider that universities
applying
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applying for
show examples
 online courses as an alternative to
classes
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 delivered on
campus
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 is utterly disadvantageous because
lack
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a lack
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 of
attention
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 to the lesson
and
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apply
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can affect health problems

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Grammar
Try to proofread your work to correct minor grammatical errors and improve sentence clarity.
Lexical Resource
Provide a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.
Task Response
Ensure that all points are fully developed and supported with clear and relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both the negative and positive aspects of online courses.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are clearly organized and logically structured, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • accessibility
  • tuition fees
  • commuting
  • accommodation
  • multimedia
  • interactive tools
  • enhance
  • cater to
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personalized attention
  • complex concepts
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • structure
  • extracurricular activities
  • networking
  • university experience
What to do next:
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