Some people think that it will be one of the best ways to solve the environment problems to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A number of individuals maintain that one of the most potential remedies to tackle environmental issues is to charge more in
fuel
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
. The writer of
this
essay agrees with
this
view
due to
the fact that it eliminates the usage of vehicles and will shed light on the core factors in the latter. It is crucial for
people
to understand that the climbing rate of
cars
Change the noun form
car
show examples
use
affects devastatingly to our surroundings, especially the ecosystem.
As emissions
Correct word choice
Emissions
show examples
from them
contains
Change the verb form
contain
show examples
numerous harmful and damaging substances, which causes fatalities for creatures including plantations and animals, making their existences disappear and become extinct.
Moreover
, exhaust fuels can alter
environmental
Add an article
the environmental
show examples
atmosphere,
for instance
, global warming which leads to melting icebergs
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
two poles of the Earth, causing higher
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
of water surface, or even
releases
Wrong verb form
releasing
show examples
greenhouse gases.
Hence
, increasing
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
and
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
on
fuel
can decrease the amount of residents who purchase them frequently to travel and
also
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
citizens to
use
public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.
Likewise
,
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
the money of
fuel
prevents
people
travelling
Change preposition
from travelling
show examples
short
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
because it can be seen as a way to waste cash.
People
will not
use
vehicles to move around within
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
metres or kilometres as
this
means throwing money away or sending it to nowhere
due to
the exorbitant price of gasoline,
however
,
this
is beneficial because of a number of main reasons:
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
transportations are used, inspires
people
to walk or
use
public vehicles and motivate them to utilise automobiles purposively.
Therefore
, it mitigates the
fuel
consumption rate, which is advantageous. In conclusion, I strongly hold faith in the given statement as it is one of the most feasible
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
show examples
to conserve the environment. Lifting the cost of
fuel
may descent the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of citizens that buy
this
product and may fix their mind of reason to travel using private cars.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
While your introduction clearly states your position, it could be slightly improved. You could start with a more engaging hook to capture the reader's attention right away.
coherence
Avoid repetitive phrases and sentences. For example, the concept of reducing vehicle use due to higher fuel costs was repeated a few times without adding new information or examples.
examples
Try to use more specific examples to strengthen your argument. You’ve mentioned general concepts like pollution and global warming but didn’t provide any real-world instances or statistics.
clear ideas
Try to refine your ideas slightly. The ideas are present and logical, but some sentences are cumbersome and could be simplified for clarity.
grammar
Review sentence structures and work on eliminating minor grammatical errors. This will help improve the overall coherence and readability of your essay.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
argument
You have solid reasoning behind your points, particularly discussing how raising fuel costs can lead to reduced use of private vehicles and encourage public transportation.
paragraphs
Your paragraphs are generally well-structured, each carrying its point which contributes to the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • public transport
  • fuel-efficient
  • electric vehicles
  • renewable energy
  • green technologies
  • disproportionately affect
  • commuting
  • infrastructure development
  • cycling and walking
  • deforestation
  • industrial pollution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: