IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it will be one of the best ways to solve the environment problems to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A number of individuals maintain that one of the most potential remedies to tackle environmental issues is to charge more in
fuel
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
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transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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. The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
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 view
due to
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 the fact that it eliminates the usage of vehicles and will shed light on the core factors in the latter. It is crucial for
people
Use synonyms
 to understand that the climbing rate of
cars
Change the noun form
car
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 affects devastatingly to our surroundings, especially the ecosystem.
As emissions
Correct word choice
Emissions
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 from them
contains
Change the verb form
contain
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 numerous harmful and damaging substances, which causes fatalities for creatures including plantations and animals, making their existences disappear and become extinct.
Moreover
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, exhaust fuels can alter
environmental
Add an article
the environmental
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 atmosphere,
for instance
Linking Words
, global warming which leads to melting icebergs
in
Change preposition
on
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 two poles of the Earth, causing higher
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of water surface, or even
releases
Wrong verb form
releasing
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 greenhouse gases.
Hence
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, increasing
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 and
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 on
fuel
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 can decrease the amount of residents who purchase them frequently to travel and
also
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encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
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 citizens to
use
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 public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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.
Likewise
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,
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 the money of
fuel
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 prevents
people
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travelling
Change preposition
from travelling
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 short
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
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 because it can be seen as a way to waste cash.
People
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 will not
use
Use synonyms
 vehicles to move around within
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 metres or kilometres as
this
Linking Words
 means throwing money away or sending it to nowhere
due to
Linking Words
 the exorbitant price of gasoline,
however
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,
this
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 is beneficial because of a number of main reasons:
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 transportations are used, inspires
people
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 to walk or
use
Use synonyms
 public vehicles and motivate them to utilise automobiles purposively.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it mitigates the
fuel
Use synonyms
 consumption rate, which is advantageous. In conclusion, I strongly hold faith in the given statement as it is one of the most feasible
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
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 to conserve the environment. Lifting the cost of
fuel
Use synonyms
 may descent the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of citizens that buy
this
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 product and may fix their mind of reason to travel using private cars.

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introduction
While your introduction clearly states your position, it could be slightly improved. You could start with a more engaging hook to capture the reader's attention right away.
coherence
Avoid repetitive phrases and sentences. For example, the concept of reducing vehicle use due to higher fuel costs was repeated a few times without adding new information or examples.
examples
Try to use more specific examples to strengthen your argument. You’ve mentioned general concepts like pollution and global warming but didn’t provide any real-world instances or statistics.
clear ideas
Try to refine your ideas slightly. The ideas are present and logical, but some sentences are cumbersome and could be simplified for clarity.
grammar
Review sentence structures and work on eliminating minor grammatical errors. This will help improve the overall coherence and readability of your essay.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
argument
You have solid reasoning behind your points, particularly discussing how raising fuel costs can lead to reduced use of private vehicles and encourage public transportation.
paragraphs
Your paragraphs are generally well-structured, each carrying its point which contributes to the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • public transport
  • fuel-efficient
  • electric vehicles
  • renewable energy
  • green technologies
  • disproportionately affect
  • commuting
  • infrastructure development
  • cycling and walking
  • deforestation
  • industrial pollution
What to do next:
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