IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it will be one of the best ways to solve the environment problems to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

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Whether increasing the price of vehicles’ fuel is one of the top solutions for
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems or not is a controversial topic.
This
Linking Words
 writer agrees with the statement
due to
Linking Words
 extra finance and encouragement to eco-friendly means. It is vital to understand that the increased cost of fuel can make extra
money
Use synonyms
 for governments.
This
Linking Words
 is because
this
Linking Words
 product plays an essential role in every field, which means that numerous businessmen would accept the high price in order to achieve their targets.
This
Linking Words
 helps local authorities to have more
money
Use synonyms
 to invest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other pressing problems
such
Linking Words
 as climate change and flooding in remote areas.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 can be used to create more green spaces, contributing to the reduction of greenhouse. Take Japan as an example, where the additional finance came from the petrol
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used to build facilities for citizens. Another factor that needs to be considered is that the exorbitant cost might encourage people to
use
Use synonyms
 public transportation. As it is unaffordable to
use
Use synonyms
 cars and other vehicles, inhabitants may tend to
use
Use synonyms
 buses and other services so as to save
money
Use synonyms
. What is more,
this
Linking Words
 situation
also
Linking Words
fosters
Verb problem
encourages
show examples
 scientists and manufacturers to find alternatives and
use
Use synonyms
 green materials more.
As a result
Linking Words
, less emission and exhaust are released, protecting citizens from severe diseases,
for instance
Linking Words
, lung cancer and heart problems. Taking all into consideration, increasing the cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petrol is one of the best measures to solve environmental matters.
However
Linking Words
, governments should not take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 situation to make
money
Use synonyms
 for themselves.

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task well, consider broadening the range of perspectives and counterarguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the complexity of the issue and strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow between paragraphs by using more sophisticated linking devices. This will enhance the overall readability and coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that each sentence within the paragraph supports this main idea. This ensures that your main points are logically and effectively presented.
coherence and cohesion
You have clearly outlined your position at the beginning and provided a good conclusion that summarizes the main points, showing a strong understanding of essay structure.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as the example of Japan, effectively supports your argument and makes your essay more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • public transport
  • fuel-efficient
  • electric vehicles
  • renewable energy
  • green technologies
  • disproportionately affect
  • commuting
  • infrastructure development
  • cycling and walking
  • deforestation
  • industrial pollution
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