IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantage of technology outweigh the disadvantages

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In the contemporary digital era, social
media
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 platforms have become a primary means for individuals to maintain relationships and stay informed about current affairs.
While
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 these technologies offer undeniable benefits in terms of connectivity and access to
information
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, they
also
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 give rise to several concerns.
This
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 essay argues that the advantages of social
media
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 significantly outweigh its drawbacks, provided it is used judiciously. On the one hand, social
media
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 has revolutionised the way people communicate by enabling instant and cost-effective interaction across geographical boundaries. Individuals can effortlessly stay in touch with family, friends, and colleagues regardless of distance, thereby strengthening personal and professional relationships.
Furthermore
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, these platforms serve as a powerful tool for disseminating
information
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. Users can receive real-time updates on global events, which enhances public awareness and encourages civic engagement.
For instance
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, during emergencies or natural disasters, social
media
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 can provide immediate alerts and facilitate coordinated responses, potentially saving lives.
On the other hand
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, the widespread use of social
media
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 is not without its disadvantages. One major concern is the proliferation of misinformation, as unverified content can spread rapidly and mislead the public.
In addition
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, excessive reliance on these platforms may lead to reduced face-to-face interaction, which can weaken interpersonal skills and contribute to feelings of isolation. There are
also
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 privacy issues, as users often share personal
information
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 that may be exploited by malicious entities.
Nevertheless
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, these drawbacks can be mitigated through responsible usage and improved regulation. Individuals can develop digital literacy skills to critically evaluate online content,
while
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 governments and technology companies can implement stricter policies to curb misinformation and protect user data. When
such
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 measures are in place, the benefits of social
media
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—particularly its ability to connect people and provide instant access to
information
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—remain far more significant. In conclusion,
although
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 social
media
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 presents certain challenges, its capacity to enhance communication and
information
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 sharing makes it an invaluable tool in modern society.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the advantages of
this
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 technology outweigh its disadvantages.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion from start to end. To get a higher score, add one more very clear and real example.
task response
For task response, your ideas are strong, but one point could be more fully explained, such as how social media can cause isolation in daily life.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear four-part structure, and each paragraph has one main idea. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use linking words well, but you can vary them a little more instead of often using standard forms like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are long. You can mix long and short sentences to make the flow even better.
task response
You answer the question fully and clearly say that the advantages are greater than the disadvantages.
task response
You include both good sides and bad sides, then explain why your view is stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because the order of ideas is clear from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and match each other well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • keep in touch
  • stay connected
  • social media platform
  • instant message
  • share updates
  • breaking news
  • real-time information
  • false information
  • fake news
  • trusted source
  • face-to-face communication
  • screen time
  • online pressure
  • daily life
  • low-cost communication
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