Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
individuals
believe that learning at college or
university
is the shortest way to a successful life,
while
others believe that getting a
job
immediately after school is better.
This
writer agrees with the first statement
due to
high
work
opportunities and high-salary jobs despite the drawbacks of
work
experience
. It must be acknowledged that studying at
university
can increase
job
opportunities, especially high-salary employment. To be specific, recruiters tend to find someone with specialized
knowledge
and degrees because they believe that these learners can improve their company and create smart strategies using their
knowledge
.
As a result
,
individuals
who have degrees will have a higher chance to enrol in famous companies. Some people think that applying for a
job
immediately after high school can be beneficial because they have
work
experience
.
This
might be true, but colleges and universities can
also
provide
job
simulations and teach them their
knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
that career. Back Khoa
University
is an outstanding example of
this
, not only teaches theories and
knowledge
but
also
goes to the actual workplace to
work
for weeks;
thus
, teenagers can experiment with how it feels to
work
.
Consequently
, the
experience
combined with previous
knowledge
will definitely surpass people who do not graduate.
This
writer believes that with a
university
degree,
individuals
can have well-paid jobs. Most of the famous and well-known companies have very strict requirements and graduating from college or
university
is on that list, there are not many
individuals
who can apply to those companies unless they are gifted.
Hence
, graduated citizens will be more likely to have good salaries than those who do not. In conclusion, well-paid jobs and
work
opportunities outweigh the disadvantages of
work
experience
.
Therefore
,
university
and college are the best way to a successful career.

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style
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing for a smoother read. For example, 'To be specific' could be replaced with 'Specifically' for improved flow.
content
Ensure full clarity when discussing the advantages of alternative perspectives. The section on work experience from jobs directly after high school may benefit from more elaboration or additional examples.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports or illustrates a central point to maintain strong coherence.
structure
Strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your position and summarizing the main points of the essay.
content
Relevant examples provided, particularly the example of Back Khoa University, which supports the main argument effectively.
content
Overall clear and comprehensive response to the task with a logical structure that enhances readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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