Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?
In the modern era, technology plays a vital role in advertising and information technology advancement. With the growing competition most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
business Correct article usage
apply
companies
target consumers
through promotion worldwide with the help of social media. No doubt, advertisement is the most common way between consumers
and business dealers but sometimes it shows bad impacts on the buyers. In my opinion, I believe that excessive
popularity Correct article usage
the excessive
od
Correct your spelling
of
advertisements
has
adverse effects, but some measures should be taken to curb Change the verb form
have
this
issue.
First and foremost, several corporate organizations and local companies
use advertisements
as a way to promote and provide essential information about their products
to the
Correct article usage
apply
consumers
. For instance
, some health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
businesess
select top celebrities to enhance the productivity of their Correct your spelling
businesses
products
such
as health drinks and immune boosting
Add a hyphen
immune-boosting
supliments
. Correct your spelling
supplements
Thus
, people become aware about
the advertised product and Change the preposition
of
shows
their interest Change the verb form
show
to purchase
. Change preposition
in purchasing
Moreover
, successful companies
set their finance according to
fit in advertisement
.
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
However
, there are some disadvantages related to the promotion of products
through ads. There are some ways to deal with issues related to that. First,
the government should impose strict laws and regulations on advertising companies
to not pressurize
the public to purchase unnecessary Verb problem
pressure
products
. The advertising
Correct article usage
Advertising
companies
should be aware of launching ethical advertisements
. Moreover
, consumers
should protect themselves from being persuaded by celebrity endorsements.
To sum up
, although
advertising is an effective way to increase a company's sales and brand, they are more often than not a negative influence on people's lives. I believe that Correct article usage
the juridiction
juridiction
of any nation Correct your spelling
jurisdiction
put
particular rules and regulations on advertisement agencies to mitigate the issues mentioned above and buyers must choose the product Wrong verb form
puts
according
their wants without being influenced by Add the preposition
according to
advertisements
.Submitted by krajveer515 on
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task achievement
While the essay covers the main points asked in the prompt, it can benefit from more comprehensive examples and statistics to support the points made. Including specific measures that can be taken to protect consumers from excessive advertisement influence would strengthen the task response.
task achievement
Some ideas in the essay could be explained more clearly. For instance, the suggestion that the advertising companies should be 'aware of launching ethical advertisements' could be expanded with specific policies or guidelines.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure and the ideas flow well from one paragraph to the next. However, improving the use of transitional phrases and connectors can further enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and misused words that affect the overall quality of the essay. For example, 'od' should be 'of,' 'advertisement' should be 'advertisements,' and 'juridiction' should be 'jurisdiction.' Proofreading will help in identifying and correcting these mistakes.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
The essay attempts to provide a balanced view on how advertisements influence consumers and suggests measures to mitigate any negative impacts.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example