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Band 7

Some people think only parents are responsible for teaching children how to behave. Others think the main responsibility lies with schools and the government. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #responsibility #schools #government
Raising
children
 is a complex and challenging task, particularly when it comes to instilling appropriate conduct and teaching societal norms. Some argue that
parents
 bear the primary
responsibility
 for shaping their
children
's behaviour,
while
 others believe that
schools
 and
government
 institutions should take the lead.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives and offer my opinion on the matter.
Parents
, as the closest and most influential figures in a child's early life, play a crucial role in teaching their offspring values and social behaviour. From birth, young people observe and mimic those around them, which makes it essential for
parents
 to serve as positive examples. During the formative years,
children
 learn principles
such
 as respect, kindness, and
responsibility
. These early lessons form the foundation of a child's character and influence how they interact with society.
Moreover
,
parents
 are the first to provide guidance when challenges arise, offering advice that shapes their moral compass.
However
, the role of
schools
 and the
government
 should not be overlooked.
Children
 spend a considerable amount of time in educational institutions, where they engage with peers and teachers.
Schools
 are uniquely positioned to teach young people how to behave in group settings, manage conflicts, and cooperate with others. Educators introduce concepts
such
 as civic
responsibility
, respect for diversity, and ethical decision-making, which are vital for navigating a complex society.
Additionally
,
government
 policies play a pivotal role in establishing behavioural standards. Through laws and community programs, governments enforce societal norms that complement the values taught at home. In my view, a shared
responsibility
 between
parents
,
schools
, and
government
 institutions is the most effective way to develop well-rounded individuals.
While
 families lay the initial foundation for behaviour,
schools
 and governments have the resources and reach to cultivate these values in a broader context. By working together, all three can ensure
children
 grow up with the principles and ethics needed to thrive in modern life.
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task achievement
Consider including more specific examples to support your points, particularly in the sections discussing schools and government roles.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically connects with the next to maintain a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The task is thoroughly addressed, with a balanced discussion of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The arguments are well-structured and coherent, facilitating easy comprehension.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help underscore the main points, though more specificity could enhance the essay further.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary caregivers
  • influencers
  • initial responsibility
  • formative years
  • educators
  • ethical and social behaviours
  • government policies
  • societal norms
  • foundational values
  • broad reach
  • cultivate
  • holistic development
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