Parents can punish their children when they do something wrong, agree or not?

#parents #children

It's some argued that

parents

should punish

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

if they're

worng

Correct your spelling

wrong

. In my view,

that is

actually wrong.

Parent

Add an article

A parent

The parent

show examples

should teach and

coummite

Correct your spelling

commit

commute

committed

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

children

Punish

Replace the word

Punishment

show examples

should not be the only way to the

children

Firsty

Correct your spelling

Firstly

First

punishment

may cause mental issues.

While

Correct word choice

Children

show examples

children

may not understand why they are wrong because of

misunderstand

Change the verb form

misunderstanding

show examples

. If

parents

only punish

children

because they are wrong,

confilt

Correct your spelling

conflict

confit

may happen.

For example

, If a

children

play knife because of fun. His

parentd

Correct your spelling

parents

want to stop him and punish him. The

children

must be angry

Change preposition

about

show examples

what

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

parents

did. To

affort

Correct your spelling

afford

effort

this

problem,

parent

Add an article

the parent

a parent

show examples

must need to understand why their

children

want to do something wrong. Is important to lead the

children

corrertly

Correct your spelling

correctly

Secondly

punishment

damage

Correct subject-verb agreement

damages

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

. That may cause lower

self-confident

Replace the word

self-confidence

show examples

While

children

get

punish

Wrong verb form

punished

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

their

parents

, their

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

must be hurt.

Children

maybe

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

feel their

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

unaccpectable

Correct your spelling

unacceptable

or think he is different

than

Change the preposition

from

show examples

other child

Change the wording

another child

other children

show examples

. Because of that,

punishment

may

make

Verb problem

put

show examples

children

get

Change preposition

in get

show examples

bad mood

Change preposition

for

show examples

a long stage.

This

problem may keep going after they

growth

Replace the word

grow

show examples

Accroding

Correct your spelling

According

to the report from China, the

children

got

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

punishment

Replace the word

punished

show examples

may affect their

friend

Replace the word

friendship

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

and

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

worse in their homework or tests. The data shows most of the child

afrid

Correct your spelling

afraid

they may get

punishment

Replace the word

punished

show examples

by their older

indivials

Correct your spelling

individuals

. So

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

, it clearly

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

that

puishment

Correct your spelling

punishment

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

children

is wrong. In conclusion,

parents

should not punish

thier

Correct your spelling

their

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

when they are wrong. Because it may cause mental issues and lower self-review.

Punishent

Correct your spelling

Punishment

may

also

affect

children

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

and their

perform

Replace the word

performance

show examples

in daily life.

On the other hand

communtion

Correct your spelling

communication

communion

Change preposition

with

show examples

the

children

is the better way

while

Correct word choice

when

show examples

children

do something wrong.

Submitted by millstonelee on Tue Jun 11 2024

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Coherence and cohesion

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Style and grammar

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Task achievement

Provide clearer and stronger supporting examples. Ensure that each point you make is backed by well-explained and relevant examples.

Task response

The essay addresses the topic and takes a clear stance against punishment for children.

Coherence and cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall structure of the essay.

Task achievement

The essay includes attempts to discuss consequences, such as mental issues and self-confidence, providing a basis for the argument.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
genetics
socio-economic status
nutritional education
physical activity programs
adverse effects
mental health issues
responsibility sharing
implementation
privileged families
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Parents can punish their children when they do something wrong, agree or not?

Your opinion

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views, give own opinion.

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give your reason.

Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.