Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Individuals believe installing more
sports
facilities
can help people
improve their health
the most, but others think this
is not the best way. In my view, I agree with the latter.
I tend to agree with the view that there are many other options to enhance public health
conditions. To begin
with, the government can provide financial support to the healthcare system; through this
investment, the community hospital can provide physical examinations for the public every month for free, which can help people
to
handle their Verb problem
apply
health
conditions and ensure timely medical assistance. Another key consideration should be that supervising the safety of food is also
a good way to protect public health
; nowadays, with the development of technology, there are a lot
of companies that use medicine to pursue better looks and more delicious taste of their products, which has some negative effects on physical health
Understandably, there are some people
who may argue that sports
facilities
can have a better influence than the others. The primary reason they may point out is that it makes exercise
mor e
convenient and accessible, with the rapid development of the cities, a Correct your spelling
more
lot
of spaces for exercise
, such
as parks and playgrounds, were occupied by flats or shopping malls, and the public has no place to do sports
, leading to a lot
of diseases. In addition
, the facilities
can encourage people
to exercise
since individuals can use it for free, compared with costing a lot
of money to pay for the gym, they can be easier to get interested form exercise
; in this
way, citizens are likely to do more sports
which can improve their health
Imperceptibly.
However
, as far as I am concerned, even though a lot
of sports
facilities
were installed, they can't motivate the public directly. We can see many communities that have sports
facilities
, but no one uses them usually.
Overall
, while
in some ways it may seem reasonable that sports
facilities
can help to improve public health
, I personally believe the government can reach this
goal in many other high-effective
and money-saving waysCorrect your spelling
highly effective
Submitted by yihualuo525 on
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relevant specific examples
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, include specific statistics or case studies about how increased sports facilities impact public health.
supported main points
Further develop the counterargument for the use of sports facilities with more specifics or data on how these might indirectly influence public health.
complete response
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and presents a well-developed opinion, which is well-articulated in the introduction and conclusion.
logical structure
Logical progression of ideas from point to point was well maintained, ensuring that the argument was easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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