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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled they say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirment

#people #waste #homes #governments #requirment
It is believed that not enough of the rubbish which is taken from people's
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 are being recycled A group of people consider the only way to increase reusing their waste is
Correct article usage
a certaing
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certaing
Correct your spelling
certain
 law which depends on recycling in
this
 essay I will explain
wyh
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why
i
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I
show examples
 totally agree with
this
 idea.
Firstly
i
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I
show examples
 want to discuss why people are against the waste of things as
a rubbish
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rubbish
a pile of rubbish
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. I think
main
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the main
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 reason is of course air pollution and tonnes of useless materials on the surface of the oceans it is considered as
a
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the
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 biggest issue for the future
in addition
 it can
be caused
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cause
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 many epidemic problems.
Thus
 it is demanded to add new
law
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laws
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 about reuse of the materials
according to
studying
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studies
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 if the new rules about recycling materials had been accepted
before
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apply
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40 years ago there wouldn't
Have had
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have been
show examples
Correct article usage
a
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lack of supplements in the world.
Particular
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A particular
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 reason
of
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apply
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why rules aren't being added to our laws is that industrial profit and recycling expenses
i
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I
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 think Nowadays lack of supply is
being
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apply
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common in many
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regions
religions
reagions
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regions
such
 as Africa ,
south
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South
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 America, And several areas of
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Asia
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asia
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Asia
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 it can be solved by recycling things And using them again and again and it is believed that all of
Add an article
the resource
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resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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 which
are
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is
show examples
 renewable will
Have been
Wrong verb form
have be
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 finished by human being after a hundred year
therefore
 now if we create rules about recycling it will be useful for many purposes and especially for our next generation In
conclusion
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conclusion,
show examples
i
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I
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 guess individuals should escape
from
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apply
show examples
many negative results
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your essay does address the task and provides an opinion on the matter. However, it could be further developed by adding more specific examples and detailed arguments to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical structure. This will make your argument easier to follow. It would also help to use linking words like 'however', 'therefore', 'thus', etc., to guide the reader through your essay more smoothly.
general advice
Proofreading is essential. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can be improved. Ensure sentences are structured correctly and consistently.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to organize your essay with an introduction and conclusion, which provides a clear structure to your response.
task achievement
Your essay successfully identifies a problem (insufficient recycling) and suggests a solution (government legislation), which is relevant to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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